Forbidden Love (Ian Somerhalder Fan-Fiction)

I Just Can't Pull Away.....

When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defences to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear.... When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.

No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories. Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

Sophia P.O.V

So I expected to for my 'date' with Preston to be a total disaster which in the end it wasn't. Preston was trying to impress which I times I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. What I mean is that is that he was ordering best of everything Champagne, caviar and I really don't like all that. I don't need to be impressed with splashing out of money it's about the person. I actually snapped at him during dinner and told him that. Which took Preston by surprise and he admitted that as confident as he appeared he was nervous about this date. I began to see a different side to Preston a side that I began to like and the reason why the evening didn't turn out bad in the end. When he brought me home he surprised me with a good night kiss at first I was a little stunned. Then I just gave into the moment because I knew that he wasn't a bad guy and he had been crushing over me for years. Also the fact he was easy on the eye so as everyone keeps telling me to move on and let it go. That's exactly what I did in that moment.

So you're wondering what kind of happened next? Well I didn't invite him in for 'coffee' I just ended the night with a simple kiss. Of course I had Loredana waiting up for me wanting to know all the details. Sometimes I have to remind her that we are in our 30's and not back in high school some things you don't kiss and tell. Well she got her pout on which as annoying as it was I knew she have it for days so I spilled how it all went. She was really happy to hear that it all went well that I seemed so happy. Then she killed the moment by asking what Ian wanted as he turned up at the door before my date. Well I never really found out why he turned up out of the blue like he did but it obviously wasn't anything important.

So the weeks began to pass by and Preston and I really hit it off I mean I was tired of holding back thinking that I would get my heart broken again. So I took the risk I just thought what the hell stop holding on to the past. When I did that and finally let my past meaning Ian go that's when I made it all official with Preston. When that happened Ian began to mail me at first it was your friendly 'Hello and how are you doing?' I didn't want to reply but I did. Things began to kind progress through these emails we started with the pleasantries then kind of moved on about life in general. I guess you could say that we began to open up to one another. It wasn't about feelings or anything like that but more about how we are both dealing with life. I felt like I was speaking to the Ian I knew from when I was a kid the one who I used to turn to when something was on my mind. It felt nice but Ian had to keep asking the same question over and over 'Could we meet and talk face to face' I didn't want that. Want to know why because as much as I am trying to move on. As much as I say I'm leaving the past where it need to be in the past. I know If Ian and I were to meet it would only go one way and that me being hateful. I don't want to be that person no more. I really don't mind having him as a person who I can talk to but not face to face interaction.

So how was my relationship with Preston going while this whole Ian online interaction was happening? Well let just say all my pent up anger I had I would release on Preston not yelling or shouting I'm talking about in the bedroom. I have to admit our sex life was pretty amazing and he knew how to do some things that most guys are clueless about. So I did everything I could to try and not let anything affect this relationship that I was trying to let bloom. Preston was how can I put it? At time needy while I'm at work I would get huge bouquet of flowers sent to me. Which everyone on set thought was sweet but Daniel you guys know him as Elijah on the show. Would teas the hell out of me I guess he knew I was a flowers and balloon type of girl. I was going to tell Preston to stop but it was difficult cause when he would come to Atlanta there wasn't an opportunity to talk. As he would talk about how much he misses me and I just didn't want to kill the mood. I need to kind of accept this was how he was and he liked to show in his own way how much he was missing me. I mean most women would love to be showered with gift and shown how much they mean to that person. It wasn't him that needed to change it was me and need to accept that.