Loving Me

3

'So nia what have you been up to this weekend ' she questions and had that glint in her eyes when she knows something  I don't.  And I hate that glint.
'Netflix  and practice ' I wasn't joking  when I said wasn't in a mood to talk
'Cheery much' she smirks
'Did you go at the party of the twins' the twins ray and Jay throw the best parties In the whole city everyone knows it also they are very rich , no one misses except me

Of course  such a fun kill aren't I

Not everyone  gets the invitations to it though I've  been getting  them since I joined the school , the twins and I are quite good friends but they know limits and respect  them .

'Nah I had work'
'Oh, I guess then you missed it something  really  interesting  happened there though'
'Cool' I said her smile faltered  when I replied it was obvious  she wanted  me to ask what happened
But I ain't  giving  any satisfaction  to that snake.
And I was curious  to be honest but I knew she'll  still tell me . So
I started leave for my class and was halfway through the door
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Then she said it.
'Just so that you know I saw Ryder  making out with some girl'
I wasn't surprised  he was a player  and a player never changes it still hurt though.
'Nothing new' I grunted
'But the girl  he was making out with was his girlfriend '
That did it, I ran to the bathroom and locked my self .

I am officially pathetic

I've had crush on Ryder for four years but never had enough balls to ask him out because
I knew he doesn't do relationships he sleeps and leaves.
Everyone  knew every girl knew it and still slept  with them thinking that he'll  have feelings  for them after  sleeping.
So him getting a girlfriend  was a big shocker and my heart broke
I had four years to get over that stupid  crush I know that I could have made him sleep with me
I have assets and i know how to use them i still never did it because i knew it'll be worse for me after we slept. So I tried to make boyfriends another  crushes  but this stubborn  heart never listens it only skips a beat when Ryder  Is around
I was angry
I was angry  at myself to let a guy make me feel  so much without  doing anything I hate it when the isn't even aware of my presence and my heart  explodes when i see him
I hate me
I hate him
Really bad
I need to get my act together  i cannot  cry whenever  he does it
I will not  let a guy crush me .
I am too strong  to let that happen.

Hii
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Well I tried my best if there are any  mistakes please comment  and I would  be happy to correct them.
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