↱ Cassettes ↲ Woosan

.6.

san walked out the shower to see yeosang sitting on his bed, examining something in his hand. His face lit up, showcasing his smile and his dimples. yeosang said nothing and just held out his hand, offering san the thing that was in it. san changed into proper clothing and took the object from his hand. It was a cassette. This one was completely pink and was decorated with drawings of hearts and stars. He hadn't seen this one before.

san gave yeosang a confused look and gave the cassette back to him. yeosang seemed to sense san's curiosity and said, "It was in your mail. I think it's from wooyoung."

"Oh," was all san replied. He didn't really know what to say. The exhibition was the next morning and he had no idea why wooyoung would send him a cassette at a time like this.

"Why is he still sending these to you? You guys haven't met in months and are barely even friends."

"I don't know," was sans short reply. Again, he didn't know what to say.

"I think you should divorce him. You haven't worn your ring in months and the last time I heard you speak about him was when you were complaining. Your marriage is dead. You have someone new to start a life with and let's just be honest, he probably does too. You shouldn't string him along like this. Ending this marriage is the best thing that could happen for all of us," yeosang let out everything he was thinking.

"I can't just divorce him! We have a child together," san growled.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to move on and besides, you could fight for the custody of the kid," yeosang replied back, equally as aggressive.

san considered this for a while. It was true, their marriage was dead, but he could never bring himself to fight for the full custody of jisung. He would never do that to wooyoung. However, it was possible for them to share their time with him. That's how san had grown up. His parents had gotten divorced when he was at an early age and while it wasn't ideal, it wasn't the worse living arrangement. His dad had gotten remarried and san had a great relationship with his step-mom. Maybe jisung could have a relationship like that with yeosang.

"Okay, but I need some time," san replied, a pit of anxiety in his stomach.

"Take your time, sannie," yeosang said, before getting up and hugging his boyfriend. "We all need to move on with our lives. Speaking of moving on, you can start tomorrow by not going to the exhibition thing."

"Okay," said san, the pit in his stomach growing. yeosang went over to san's drawer and took out his only cassette player. It was the same one wooyoung had given him all those years ago, back in college. He watched as yeosang threw it in the garbage can and scooped up the trash bag. "I'm going to take out the garbage," yeosang said, putting emphasis on the last word.

San had meant to call wooyoung and tell him he couldn't make it, but his mind was too occupied with the divorce and work to actually do so.

san's birthday came and went and wooyoung suggested spending it together, but san shot down the idea before the words even left wooyoungs mouth. He said he was too busy at the office and taking time off for a birthday seemed trivial. wooyoung didn't know what to do. He couldn't get through to his husband and it had been so long since they had spoken. He shot down every idea to get together and they were essentially strangers.

The reality of the situation set in that night and wooyoung had a panic attack. His baby was present in the room and was watching him with curiosity; that didn't help him clam down.

san didn't love him anymore. san didn't acknowledge his existence anymore. san didn't see him as anything more than a burden. He couldn't breath. Hot tears were running down his face as he was scrunched over the the living room floor, his arms around his stomach. Bile was threatening to come up his hoarse throat and he had to run to the bathroom to not soil the carpet. That night, he got another headache. That night, he hit rock bottom. That night, he mailed a yellow cassette.

Some more time passed and wooyoung was getting ready for an interview. He had gotten an offer for another exhibition and had to meet the manager in person. He was wearing a formal grey suit and had his lilac hair slightly gelled back. He got in the cab and told the driver the address to the restaurant where the interview was being held. As he was sitting back and admiring the view of the city, wooyoung noticed that the streets seemed familiar. He was thinking for a couple more blocks when it hit him. They were near san's apartment. He didn't know what to do when all the emotions from san's birthday night came crashing down on him.

"Stop the car," wooyoung said abruptly.

"I'm sorry, sir?", the man questioned.

wooyoung had to get out. He was suffocating. The walls of the cab were closing in on him, threatening to trap him inside. The man's  voice became distorted and wooyoung couldn't use any of his senses properly. He had to get out. Taking out a wad of money, he shoved it in the drivers hands and ran out of the now stopped car. He didn't care about his interview anymore. He needed answers. If san wasn't going to provide them, he had to get them himself.

It was a Saturday, meaning san should be home. He couldn't escape wooyoung if he had no warning. This newfound courage dissipated and all his questions answered when he saw the scene in front of him. San was kissing another man. They were holding hands. San was smiling. Oh, his beautiful smile. How wooyoung wished he was the reason behind that smile.

His knees were buckling underneath him, unable to support the weight of his body anymore. He had to grab onto the nearest wall and rest there for support to not fall over. He had to put a hand over his mouth to muffle the choked sobs that were escaping his lips. He couldn't breath again. Suddenly, he was back in his living room on the night of sans birthday; hunched over the floor again, jisungs scrutinizing gaze piercing through him. He was a failure of a husband and a father. He ran in the other direction.

Divorce papers arrived at wooyoung's doorsteps the following week.