Monday November 17, 2014
Nena's POV
3:08 am
*"Adam wait." He looked at me with such fury as he rose his hand and slapped me across the cheek. It tingled and stung, but i didn't dare move.
"No, damn it. I'm not going to wait. I've waited too fucking long to fuck you. Hell, I even pretended to be friends with you. Now shut up and lay still." His voice had so much anger I froze. I couldn't bring myself to move, out of fear that he would hit me again, as he raped me. When I screamed in agony, he shoved a pillow over my face, muffling the noise.*
I jerk up in the bed, sweat beads dripping down my forehead. My heart is beating a million miles an hour, and I'm shaking. For the past few nights I have been having the same damn nightmare about that night... Tears roll down my cheeks as I hear Harry turn over in the bed. I feel the pressure on the bed lift, signalling he is sitting up and instantly feel his arms wrapped around me, lips pressed to my head.
"Is it the same one?" He asks quietly, I can hear the pain in his voice.
"Yes." I squeak.
"I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. I hate seeing you like this."
"I know. I'm sorry I'm such a big mess." I say, staring at the floor.
"Hey, don't apologize. You're the best mess I have ever had." There is a pause "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. I just want to go to sleep." I look up into his green eyes. He looks like he is going to say something, but sighs in defeat because he knows I won't tell him about my nightmares. He simply nods his head and lays back down, I follow and place my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
"I promise, it is going to be okay. I'm gonna make it okay." He says before passing out again.
Morning comes sooner than I want and everyone is up and hustling around. We are going out for breakfast this morning because today is a special day. Today is the day the boy's new album, Four, is released. Of course, Kasey and I have already listened to it and oh my god, we most certainly fan girled. I tweeted the lyrics to Once In a Lifetime, eventually the fans caught on and hounded me for more, but I refused.
A lot has changed over the past month. First off, Louis and Kasey came out publicly last week and everyone flipped. The fans absolutely adore them. As for Harry and I, we have been out alone a few times and the #Hena has been on and off the top trending topics charts. It is so weird, being noticed everywhere. Just the other day, Bill and I went to the grocery store and a group of girls noticed me and asked for MY picture! The boys weren't even with me! Kasey loves the attention, she is even working on her own autograph. But the biggest change was moving to England. That's right. It all happened so fast, I still can't believe it. Here's how it happened; Bill and I have been bonding lately and on our second to last day in LA he asked me the big question, if I wanted to move to England with him. Of course, I agreed! Then, they gave me even greater news. I don't know how they managed it, but they got my father to sign papers, making Bill Hanson my legal guardian. He like half-adopted me. Since my mom is living in the residential program, she legally had no say. I know she will be there for at least a year and since I will be turning 18 it won't matter. After sad goodbyes from Jonah and Ben, I packed my whole one suitcase of stuff and moved down here, of course the lads insisted on taking me shopping so now I have a normal sized closet of clothes, which I have never had before. Bill was so excited, he told me I am like the daughter he never got to have. He returns the relationship, because he is the father I never had and I love him. I got to decorate my own room and everything, something I haven't had the chance to do because my old room was the same as my nursery. A week into staying I got a call from Kasey, who I thought I'd lost forever, who gave me the amazing news that her mom got offered a job at a new building opening in England. That's right! Kasey moved down here! Which means, her and Louis are nearly inseprable. It was also a bonus for her sister, Jen, who has been getting rather flirty with Mr. Horan lately. We are both doing home school fro the rest of the semester, we just thought it would be easier. Oh, and Harry and I still haven't had our first kiss. It almost happened once, but I pulled away when i heard Adam's voice in the back of my head. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be okay.
