Lost In The Sky

Sky glazers

Hope you enjoy!

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2:17 -  the clock reads

I glance at Pie to see he is still asleep. Shuffling toward the edge of the bed, I walk out of the room. 

Walking toward the balcony door, I unlock the door without trying to make any noise.

I put my hands on the cold shiny metal railing and stare into the distance.

The city was buzzing with life, flashing lights in one spot and single yellow and white dots at other spots. The sound of traffic emitting out. Tilting my head up toward the original lights of the night. 

The sky has always been a mystery yet a magnificent sight to see.

The stars dancing around, spreading their sparkles all around. A white crescent moon in the middle of the mix.

It's amazing how it goes from this dark cool sky to a bright warm blue and a scorching star being the key to all life emitting its light.

Each of the objects has its purpose and know exactly what they have to do.

I wish I knew I was like that instead of being lost all of the time. 

I moved all the way here and I have no idea what I am going to with my life. Everyone has their life planned out to know what they are going to do. They have so many opportunity's, idea's and people to support them.

I'm all alone. My father hates me. My idol called me talentless. My anxiety eating me up alive.

Another thing I'm envious of those stars.

Look at all the stars forming their special constellations. Each star has their own family that they all belong to. 

Where is my family?

The sky is the only object I can count on, it's always watching me since I was small. It basically watched me grow up and see all the terrible choices I've made to lead me to this very moment.

 I mean back in South Africa, my mum and I went on a vacation to  East London and came across a small town call Port St John and during the night you see the full extent of the stars in the night. There was basically no light pollution and that truly was so marvellous.

"Cas?" a raspy deep voice called out to me.

I turned my head to see a shirtless Pie staring at me with worry in his eyes. 

I looked atrocious, my hair was sticking up, my eyes puffy and bloodshot red. To compliment my appearing I was wearing some PJ shorts and Pierce's shirt. An overwhelming amount of embarrassment filled my face. I turned back around, looking into the sky hoping to disappear this very moment.

I heard footsteps getting closer. Warm calloused hands wrapped around my waist pulling me into a hard, sturdy chest of muscle. Heat radiated off him with me absorbing most of it. His faces tucked into my neck with warm spurts of airbrushing my ear. 

Goosebumps.

"What's the wrong Cas?" Pie whispered into my ear

"Nothing, I just couldn't sleep" murmuring back still feeling quite embarrassed.

He huffed out more clearly to show he was annoyed.

"It's 2 in the morning bub, you were fast asleep an hour ago" he kissed beneath my ear

I couldn't think of anything to say back. My mind was just focused on the contact. "I-i just wanted to uhm you know- drink some water." I rambled out trying to keep my lies intact.

Pie whipped me around before I could react. He pushing his hips to mine trapping me from moving. My back pressed against the cool metal of the railing. His hands cupped my face. Our faces centimetres apart and bodies stuck together fitting perfectly together.

My eyes looked everywhere but his eyes. I know if I made contact, this lie is going to be crumbling down just like my legs.

"Cassidy" He commanded firmly.

How can I be this attracted to my best friend? Gosh is it bad that I want him to kiss me?

I mean sure when I was smaller I did like him but.....

My light syrup brown eyes connected with his pastel green eyes. My tongue slipped out to moisten my lips and suck in a breath of air.

"Tell me what is the matter Cas?" He whispered while staring at my lips

"I had a bad dream, that's all" bringing my hands up to lay them on his shoulders

"Wanna talk about it?" He leaned in closer. 

I could feel his breath on my face. Pierce was always so welcoming to me and made sure I was happy whenever he could. But that was years ago, he could have changed. Could I really tell the trauma I went through? All the countless hours of the therapy, the nightmares night after night. The loneliness that I experienced. 

"It's fine Pie, I'm great" I put on a fake smile to look more convincing

He leaned even closer and planted a kiss on my forehead. Grabbing my hand and leading us both to the bedroom. 

A pang of sadness sprang in my heart. Was it wrong of me too for wanting him to something more?

I thought back to the event earlier in the night. 

I knocked on Pie's door with tears streaming down my face. At first, I didn't hear any noise from his side of the door and thought he was not at home. 

But Pie swang the door open, his hair was wet and was wearing a robe with droplets of water trailing down his body.

A small blush grew on my face. Before I could say anything Pie pulled me into him and hugged me tightly.

"Who made my Cas cry?" He said with a deep soft voice.

I felt extremely guilty about how I treated him before. Finding out the new about my dad and his mother made me angry, It's not his fault, therefore, I shouldn't have been mad at him in the first place.

"I'm so sorry Pie, it wasn't your fault" I muffled into his chest.

"That doesn't matter now, who made you cry?" he spoke with anger laced in his tone

I stepped back out of his hold and looked him in the eyes "I just had a bad first lecture"

The guilty for lying to him was strongly sitting my stomach.

"Can we please just eat ice cream and watch a movie? I just don't want to be alone" my whisper was let out into the apartment.

That is how my night ended. 

Honestly one of the best night of sleep I've had in a long time.

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See you soon my lovely readers, Tealy