American Teen-the Sequel

Adjustment

*trigger warning: mentions of suicidal thoughts*

I returned to the flat the day after the funerals were over. I couldn't burden anyone at the Burrow with a crying baby, and I had left him with Andromeda for too long. Molly protested this idea at first, but they needed some time as a family to grieve. I wanted to be there for George while he mourned the loss of his dear brother. But Teddy is my priority and always will be. Teddy and I only had each other left for family. Well, Teddy has his grandma. And I have no one. George has four caring brothers, a loving sister, and amazing parents to help him. 

I decided to set up all of Teddy's things in the room that George and I used to share. I didn't think George would appreciate me turning Fred's room into a nursery. I placed the crib along a wall and added a little mobile I had bought. In the center I placed a picture of Remus and Tonks on their wedding day for Teddy to look at before rocking Teddy to sleep and placing him in the crib. I decided to just sit there and look at the peaceful child who is now an orphan. I don't when I started crying or when I fell asleep. All I know is that the next day I woke up on the floor next to Teddy. 

I didn't know what to do now that the war was over. I was clear to go to St. Mungo's and get my job back. Though I guess I never technically lost it. But at some point I stopped getting the paychecks. Not sure if that counts as quitting or getting fired. Most of my day was spent entertaining Teddy, who cried a lot for his mom and dad. It pained me each time he did. If I could bring back either one of them into the world, I would do it in a heartbeat. Andromeda came over for a few days to help me take care of Teddy and go over how to raise a child, but she couldn't stay forever. We agreed to weekly meetings every Sunday evening. I would bring Teddy over and stay for dinner, then pick Teddy up the following evening. 

It was on one of those Mondays that everything went bad. I had been struggling since the battle, but held it together because I promised Tonks that I would watch over Teddy. But when I found myself alone with my thoughts, I couldn't handle it anymore. I broke down into tears on the floor. I mourned the loss of everyone in my entire life. I relived every moment that made my life as miserable as possible. I hadn't been the Burrow since I left because I couldn't handle looking at the Weasleys and seeing all of their broken hearts. They were a unit and I was an intruder. I had no family. My dad is a piece of shit who we left in the US. My mom's dead and even then I don't know how I feel about her. I don't have any aunts or uncles that I know of. My friends from Hogwarts have been silent since the Battle. So I sat on the floor of a flat I once shared with my now dead best friend and my fiancé and cried. I had been through so much in my life. My fingers started tracing over all the scars on my body that prove it. 

I did that for hours until I finally decided I had enough crying and enough suffering for a lifetime. I wrote a note to Andromeda explaining that Teddy was her responsibility now. I had to go find my wand in order to make this as painless as possible. I would finally be free. I would no longer be a burden to this cruel, cruel world. I knew it was selfish because everyone around me had lost enough already. But then I looked around. There was no one there. So I walked into my bedroom in search of my wand. And I saw the abundance of photographs that lined the walls. Most of the photos contained at least one dead person. And soon I will join them. But then one caught my eye. It had been taken on the day I met Teddy. I was holding Teddy while Tonks was laughing beside me. It reminded me of the promise I made to Tonks to protect Teddy with everything I had. I couldn't do this. Teddy needed me. George needed me.

 I had forgotten that I promised him I would stay alive. I had been so overwhelmed with grief over the past couple of days I felt like I was drowning. But being reminded of these two promises wasn't enough. I needed real help. I couldn't do this on my own no matter how hard I tried. I had thought I would go to St. Mungo's to get my job back. But right now I needed someone to confiscate my wand and tie me to a bed before I decide to break my promises. I rewrote the note I left to Andromeda so it was less of a goodbye and more of a 'I need your help'. And then I used the floo network to go to the hospital, where I checked in with puffy eyes and soaked cheeks. 

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*George's POV*

I had promised Margaret that I would stay alive, but that was proving to be a challenge. If it weren't for my family, I don't know what I'd do. I know they were all grieving, but they managed to help me through it. Most of the time I stayed in my bed. I usually didn't even travel downstairs to eat; my mum had to bring it up. Even then she had to force it to me. Every day I just went through the motions. 

My mum had finally convinced me to come downstairs. I hadn't spoken a word in almost a week, but I knew staying in bed wasn't getting me anywhere. I missed Margaret, but apparently she had to care for Teddy and didn't want to be a disturbance. So I ignored that feeling and just enveloped myself in daydreams where Fred was still alive. It just so happened that I was on the couch when Andromeda burst through our floo network. 

"Has anyone seen Margaret?" She cried. She was holding Teddy, who was also crying. My mom rushed in the room, drawn by the concern in Andromeda's voice. I was also concerned-where was she?

"Andromeda dear. What happened?" My Mom asked as she ushered her over to a chair. 

"Margaret was supposed to pick Teddy up over two hours ago. She's never been late. I don't know where she is. I thought she would be here visiting you guys. I'm concerned for her. It's obvious she isn't doing well with everything going on." 

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation as I picked myself and locked myself in my room. I didn't have the emotional capacity to feel concern over Margaret-I'm sure she's fine. I was too consumed with Fred to worry about her. She's made it through a lot. Looking back, I probably should've realized that she had been through a lot. A lot more than I ever had. And that it was probably not a good thing that anyone let her be on her own when she had just had another traumatic event happen to her. My excuse for not caring about her turned out to be the number one reason why I should've been extremely concerned. But I didn't know that then. I wish I had.