Movie Mom

Children

I have an 18 year old son, a 16 year old daughter, a 14 year old daughter, a 12 year old daughter, a 10 year old son, an 8 year old son, a 6 year old daughter, a 4 year old daughter, and a 2 year old.

I want to start with discipline. We never let disobedience go to the point of ugliness. We address attitude issues early on, before they've had a chance to turn into habits. Bad habits are destructive. For example: If the child is displaying signs of having an ungrateful attitude, rolling eyes, stomping, slamming things, stomping away. That is the time we start the discipline process.

We see discipline as a process of tearing down and building back up. If America tears down a country, by bombing it, and tearing down structures. We do not leave the country broken and destitute. We help them rebuild.

When dealing with children we want to tear down the walls that wrong thinking and unhealthy habits build up. Then, after we have taken away the bad, we want to replace it with the good. I'm going to leave it up to you on what form of discipline you use. We have tried out several, and we don't feel their is one type of discipline that works the same for every offense.

First Offense: Grounded or taking away a favorite object

Second Offense: Usually a verbal warning

Third Offense:  Usually swats and a family meeting involving everybody sitting down an talking out plans of intervention and redirection.

If it has gotten to this stage, it may be time for concern. But keep in mind this process starts early on, at first signs of a wrong attitude.

This process is a bit simpler with toddlers. Usually a word of correction, and a little tap on the hand or the bottom is enough to make a happy child. If the problem persists, a time out alone in the crib or playpen, or a nap may be whats needed.  Somewhere where they have no one to socially interact with and they cant see anyone else. If they are getting attention during time-out they usually wont reflect on their situation, and change their attitude. Time alone is usually a last resort but seems to work like a charm, when you need it to,

Feel free to explore, mixing out ideas with ideas you have or things you have found helpful. Also, it helps to be aware of the child service discipline laws in your county. First of all, to make sure that your methods fall within legal guidelines. This will help to relieve any anxiety about administering disciplinary action.

We try to focus more on training than discipline. We feel that with good training, there is less need for discipline. Sometimes disobedience to rules is simply misunderstanding, or mistakes that can be avoided by good communication, and good training.

Regular family meetings are helpful at making sure everyone in the home is aware of any changed that need to be made, introducing new rules, and assesing behavior concerns, as well as praising good behavior. We always do our best to keep them short, 15-20 minutes, and set aside time at the end for children to add something that may be on their minds, that they feel they would like to share.

Many times family meetings end with tears, apoligies, and hugs between all that were arguing and everyone going away with appreciative attitudes again.

A/N Picture to the side, this is us back in te day.