You Will Not Lose Me

Rooftop regrets

Blood. Misery. Emotional pain and the whiplash of returning to oneself after losing all rationality. These things swirled around inside of Shirou. Even weeks after the Nirvasyl incident he could not get over the taste of blood. He would never forget the sensation of his teeth shredding through Michirus's upper arm. It was seldom that biting something would impact him in such a way. This was different. Yes, she lived but if she did not, he knew he would never forgive himself. Another persistent memory to add to the stack.

"Shirou?" Michiru shut the door to her room and walked towards him. Shirou turns away from the skyline to look at her. "Why are you up so late?" he asks. She huffs and moves to stand next to him. She crosses her arms and leans on the railing. "I could ask you the same thing." Shirou's gaze locks onto her face for a moment before it shifts to his hands.

Michiru leaned towards him with a playful expression. "Care to share with the class?" she questioned. The man beside her sighed and relented. "Couldn't sleep" he answered with underlying weariness in his voice. She nodded her head a tad in acknowledgment before replying, "Me either." He pondered on what to say next. On one hand, she would appreciate him opening to her, but on the other, he could just be burdening her.

Michiru took a deep breath as she looked at the horizon. The sky was dark, but the city was as alive as ever. She inspected the buildings across from them while gathering courage. She spoke softly, "I miss my family. I love it here with everyone, but I still miss then." Shirou took this in. He knew what it feels like to have an emotional hole but, he had not been with his family in a long time.

"Nothing is stopping you from visiting," he says bluntly. She hums to herself in mild contemplation. "You're right but, some part of me is scared about how we've changed while apart," she says. He pauses for a moment. "The decision is up to you in the end" he responded. Silence hangs over the two of them. The tension stretches between the two of them like a wire. Michiru shifts her weight uneasily. Shirou finally took in her whole appearance. She's dressed in her usual tank top and shorts. Was she not cold? Come to think of it he has never seen her in pants. He ruminated on this for a moment.

Michiru turns her head back towards him. "So, what's bothering you? I understand if it's something personal but if I can help...." She trails off in uncertainty. He suppresses a huff of mild annoyance. It's just like her to want to help someone amid her internal struggles. He relents, "memories" he speaks slowly as if saying it is admitting weakness. A slight chill runs up Michirus back. Does he mean...?

The beastman hand grips the railing as the scene replays in his head. Misery and emptiness that refuses to leave him alone. He was almost left alone at that moment. Without Michiru-

"Shirou?" her actual question remains unsaid but still understood. Are you okay? Can I help? Let me in, please. Her eyes trailed his face as if searching for the depth of his spiraling thoughts.

He clenches his eyes shut. "I'm fine" he forces out.

Michiru raises her brow in disbelief. She slowly releases a heavy breath. That's not a surprise. Of course, he didn't want to admit it. Who knows what memories he's even mentioning? It could be anything considering his long past. If there was anything she could do to help him, she would. Not for her ego as some might assume. No, she wanted to help her friend. Shirou deserves some relief. Michiru clenches her fist. This could be a bad decision, but she couldn't just do nothing.

Shirou jolted at a new pressure on his side. His eyes flicked over to the tanuki beside him. Michiru had moved over towards him. The two of them now stood shoulder to shoulder. She leaned into his side. "I don't know exactly what's bothering you but, remember that people worry for you, 'kay?" She sounds so heartfelt and assured that it makes something in Shirou's chest sting. Worry for him, huh?

Shirou's eye twitches as he leans into her almost imperceptibly. This girl really was something. Although, her touch did feel soothing. Not that he would admit it. He moves his face into her hair and emits a muffled "thanks." It's a good thing that his face was blocked by Michiru's hair. He couldn't see her flustered expression.