Tumble

Understanding

Ember

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I never understood myself.

Why I can not control myself; instead being a person everyone would like me to be. Instead , he controls me.

Before I met him, I was an independent woman. Only doing what my heart desired.

Now my independence has been crushed and tattered; shattered like broken glass.

Of course, he can be amazing in his own ways. Charming with an incredible humorous side. Don't get me wrong, he's quite handsome with mad skills.

I'm in love with him, but why can't we be a normal couple?

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Before I creep out of my bed, I glance around, noticing Brian not around. I look at everything. The cream colored walls, the dark wooden floors, the dark wooden dressers, and the room that has pretty much become my life.

I haven't left the house in 6 months due to Brian's outrageous jealousy. Quite recently it has really taken a toll on me.

I walk towards my dresser and look directly in the mirror. I've been stressed to the max, and I look like it too. I haven't Been allowed to do myself up since we met.

I walk towards my bedroom door, turning the doorknob and exiting to the hallway, aiming towards the living room.

I inch closer towards the living room hearing Brian and two new voices conversate. We haven't had guests in quite sometime, and I'm almost deciding on going back to the bedroom. Could he get angry just for me walking in on his conversation?

I begin to enter the living room and see Brian making quiet conversation with an odd man I have never seen before. Along with the Odd man is a beautiful, brown eyed, woman. She looks depressed and hopeless; her hair falling over her face with her eyes gazing down to the floor.

Her hands are crossed and she appears to be crying. She gazes up towards me and my eyes break away from her direction immediately.

They all glance my way.

"Ember! What the fuck are you doing in here?!" He exclaims as he walks towards me angrily

" I-i just woke up, Brian. I didn't know you had anybody coming over. I-im sorry!" I say as I cover my face to protect from his fists.

"Get the fuck in there bitch! Don't you ever smart mouth me again. Things can get real damn ugly real fucking quick!" Brian says pushing me hard in the direction of the bedroom.

" What the fuck is this all about! I'm sick of --" I'm interrupted by another punch to the face

" Didn't I just fucking say don't smart mouth me? Did I just tell you to go in that fucking bedroom? Because I fucking think I just did!"

"O-okay. I'm going just please,please stop." I exclaim as I attempt to protect myself from his blows.

"Say you're sorry for smart talking me!"he yells, staring me hard in the eyes

"I'm sorry!" I yell as I'm shoved against the wall, silenced by his aggressive kissing.

"Now say you love me."he says softly

"I-i love you, Brian." I say with tears streaming down my face.

Brian releases me and I head back to the bedroom as fast as I can. My tears streaming down my face, nearly drowning myself in sorrow. I reach my brown, wooden door, turn the knob, and enter my bedroom. I slam the door and drop to the floor; hanging my head down to my knees sobbing until I run of tears to release.

Alex

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Understanding is a complicated term.

If I can not understand my life and who I am, how can anyone else?

The way her eyes analyzed me, scoped me, and saw through me entirely; I could tell immediately she knows exactly the pain and suffering I have been going through for 2 years now.

The way Brian yelled at her, hurt her physically, hurt her emotionally, and then pulled her right back in with his irresistible eyes and accusations of "love".

Just like Zayn.

I thought Brian would have been one of Zayn's normal friends, then again, what friends are normal if they're Zayn's.

If only I could talk to Ember; one person to understand me and get to know me. But, if we got too close, how would Zayn feel about that? He will barely ever let me out of the house, let alone have friends of my own to hang out with..

Did she know I went through the same exact thing right before Zayn and I walked through the door? Does she sense what's going on?

" Zayn, I'm going to the bathroom, is that okay?" I asked cautiously

" It's all the way down the hallway to your right" Brian says while pointing

I walk cautiously hoping Zayn isn't watching every move I make. It'd be terrible if Zayn caught me conversating with someone other than himself. I reach the end of the hallway, and walk into Ember's bedroom. I wonder if she spends months at a time in these chamber-like walls. That's what it feels like; being concealed in a chamber for years. Only alone with your thoughts and abuse. Other than those rare spurts where Zayn is actually nice. He hasn't been the same since the first couple months of our relationship.

He kept getting more and more protective every day, and eventually I was more of an owned object than an individual. It isn't all of his fault, maybe,just maybe, if I stood up for myself in the beginning it'd be better now. If not, then I'd be dead. 50/50 chance.

As I walk in, Ember jumps. She most likely figured it'd be Brian attempting to yell at her in private.

"Hey, I'm Alex. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but check on you." I say softly

"Oh, um, I'm Ember. Thank you a lot, but i-im fine." She says as she wipes her tears and stands up from her sitting position.

"No, you're not.. I can tell. You can trust me. You really can." I say in a comforting tone

"How can I trust anyone? I haven't had human contact other than with Brian in months. I haven't even talked to family. Who knows they probably think I'm dead. But who would care anyway? She says sobbing

" I know we just met..but I'm going through the same exact thing. If zayn knew I was in here speaking to you, I could end up dead for all I know." I say full heartedly

" is that why you were crying? I figured something was up. I could tell by how stressed you look. I was really wondering if we were in the same situation. Where does Zayn think you are?"

"The bathroom honestly.. " I said wide-eyed ,realizing how long I've been in here

"Oh, god, you need to get back in there Alex. We'll be beyond fucked if they come in here." She continues " here. Take this . Call me anytime from 7 am until 4 pm. Its the home phone number. He's at work those hours and I really need to keep in contact with someone. And you understand." She says handing me a piece of paper with her home digits scribbled on it.