one and the same - heid criminal minds

the hospital

the team gathered in the halls of the nearest hospital. Morgan and Rossi were standing a little bit further away from the group, and jj was comforting Emily. hotch sat by himself thinking about what had went down. his hands absentmindedly traced his face as he stared blankly at the floor. 

"it wasn't your fault ya know." jj said trying to make him feel even a little better about what happened to Spencer. "I should've done something. I should've been the one talking to Owen, not him. it should've been me." Aaron said tears pricking his eyes lightly. "hotch" jj said placing a hand on his shoulder, "no one knew Owen was going to do that. you can't blame yourself because I know Spencer wouldn't blame you." she said with a small smile. hotch only looked up for a moment. this was too much, even for him. there are some things you should never have to see and having someone you have feelings for, who trusts you, get shot in front of you is not one of them. 

"Spencer Reid" one of the nurses said making her way out of one of the rooms. all their ears perked up as they quickly made their way to her. "yes?" Rossi and hotch said in unison. "he's out of surgery. luckily the bullet didn't hit any organs, so he should make a full recovery." she finished and the team let out a collective sigh. "is he up?" Emily said. "no, and he will probably be out for the next few hours. let him rest." she said. "thank you." Morgan said and she walked on. 

she was right. hours had passed and one by one the team had slowly gone. now it was just jj and Aaron. jj yawned and blinked tightly. "go, ill stay." hotch said. "no, I should be here for him." jj protested. he stood up, "its alright jj, you're tired go and get some sleep. you can come see him tomorrow bright and early." he said with a hint of a smile. 

she stood up and looked at him before wrapping her arms around him. "thank you." she said. it took Aaron a moment but he soon returned the embrace knowing how much she cared for Spencer. she looked at him with tired eyes before leaving. 

jj was Spencers best friend so naturally she knew that he had always had a crush on hotch, and how happy he would've been that he was the last person there. she never suspected that her boss was anything other then straight, but she didnt care. as long as her family was happy. 

Aaron stood in front of the doorway, anxious to enter the room Spencer was in. he took in a deep breath and stepped inside. he walked over to the bed and looked at him. "oh Spencer." he said in a quiet voice as he gently moved a piece of spencers hair out of his face. he moved one of the chairs closer to the bed and sat down. "im so sorry, I should've done something. we knew what Owen was capable of. but you, you wanted to help him. oh Spence if you weren't so kind you wouldn't be here." he said now letting a few tears run down his face. "it should've been me." he said placing a hand over spencers hand before drawing back quickly. he stared at him before eventually falling asleep in the chair next to him. 

"hotch?" Reid voice gently called out. Aaron snapped awake in no time at all. "Spencer" he said with a large grin. "how are you feeling?" he said standing up. "as good as anyone who just got shot can." he said with a chuckle, "where's the rest of the team?" he said sleepily looking around the dimly lit room. "well you were out for a pretty long time. I told them to go home and that id wait with you." hearing him say this filled Spencer with butterflies, hearing him call him by his first name did too. 

"do you need anything?" hotch said trying to help Spencer in any way he could. "no im alright." Spencer said still with a smile on his face. "listen Reid im so sorry for what happened today. I should've stopped you or at least been in your place. this should've never happened." he said in a sorrowful voice. "no don't start with that." Spencer said and reached out to grab one of Aarons hands, "you could go on forever with 'it should have been me' or 'I should have stopped him' but the fact is that I went to Owen. im the one who should have thought it out more. I risked it and I payed the price. thats all on me and you shouldn't have to feel responsible." he said squeezing his hand and dropping it. 

they talked for a little while more before Spencer became tired. he was drifting in and out of sleep but before we was fully asleep he spoke. "hotch?" he said quietly "hm?" Aaron replied. "thank you." he said grabbing hands with him again. he quickly fell asleep and so did hotch.