A Solemn Promise

IV

"The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself." John Greene

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IV.

"What on earth is the matter with you?" hissed Ruby in a terribly bemused tone.

Only once Adam and his siblings had left the kitchen with Mrs Hayes did Grace emerge from the laundry, stepping tentatively as she did. Her heart was still thundering in her chest, and she felt the need to rub her eyes, to pinch her arm, just to make sure that she was truly awake.

Grace was certain that her cheeks were flushed. "I thought I saw a bee," she murmured. "I don't like them."

"Inside?" scoffed Ruby. But she didn't dwell on the subject for long. There were much more pressing matters as she raced over to the kitchen maids with a wicked grin on her face. "Gentlemen!" she squealed, though hushed.

The two kitchen maids looked just as starstruck and excited at the fact that Adam and Jack had only just been through. If they had come from afar, it was highly likely that many of the servants would have never encountered the Beresford family before.

Grace would certainly never advertise that she had known them once. She didn't really know them now, and as a servant, it was not her place to engage in any sort of familiarity.

And then the contents of Adam's letter hit her again, right in the stomach, taking the wind out of her. Lord, how easy it was to think of him as merely Adam. He was not Adam, nor would she ever address him as such.

He was Lord Beresford, the heir to the dukedom, and everything that she was standing on.

"That's quite enough from the lot of you!" cried Mrs Reynolds, clapping her hands to grab their attention. "Honestly, if the reverend heard such frivolity, he would rap you three over the knuckles with a cane. Now, we have suddenly a meal to prepare for His Grace, so Elsie, Eve, move it!" She waved on the kitchen maids and they quickly returned to their chores.

Bells started to ring, and Grace could remember Adam telling her once that the ropes in each room were connected to the bells downstairs, alerting Mr Cole their need for a servant. The family were well and truly returned, and Grace was quite certain she was going to have a coronary.

***

When great, rich families like the Beresfords returned to their homes after extended absences, the household were expected to greet them in a receiving line outside the house. As they had returned early, Mr Cole had ordered every footman, housemaid, kitchen maid, gardener and groom to form a receiving line in the entry hall instead.

Adam was going to see her. There was no way around it, and Grace was at quite a loss of what to do. She was not so much worried about what he would do. She truly expected nothing from him. He had grown into exactly what his parents had wanted him to be; a gentleman. She was afraid for herself. Grace didn't want to feel hurt again. She had spent so much of the last decade convincing herself that what was done was done, and it couldn't affect her. She certainly didn't want to cry in front of him.

There was a part of her, a large part, really, that felt ashamed. Grace stubbornly didn't want Adam to be right about their positions. Cut from two very different pieces of cloth, he had called them. She remembered his words exactly, as though they were burned into her memory. How literal his words would be when he looked upon her in the dress of his servant.

And there was another part, this one smaller, that was battling to come to the surface, to convince Grace to walk right over to her former friend, and to punch his perfectly manly jaw. Only a cruel person would hurt someone they were supposed to love, and he had made her a promise. She never thought that Adam would be one to break his word.