Eleanor Mendrez

13 Eleanor

I managed to go out of the house without being seen by my parents. I talked to the guard and said that he shouldn't mention me to them since they didn't know I was here.

Naglakad pa ako palabas sa village namin. Since I was wearing my usual cotton shorts and tank top at home, I just snatched the first jacket that I saw in my closet. I didn't have any time to dress up because he said he'll be here in ten minutes.

Nang makarating ako sa gate ng village ay nandoon na ang kotse n'ya. I didn't have the time to have second thoughts anymore because the moment I stepped my foot out of the village, his car door opened. Napatigil pa ako sa paglapit dahil nanginig ang mga tuhod ko sa kaba.

I pinched my fingers when I finally saw his face. The sting in my eyes came back when our eyes met. Unti-unti nanamang nagbabara ang lalamunan ko na hanggang sa dibdib ay umaabot ang bigat. He didn't wait for me to walk towards him and just met me halfway instead.

His eyes doesn't look kind when he scanned my whole face-- like he was ready to attack the ones who hurt me. I mentally slapped myself for not taking a peek in the mirror before going out of the house. Sana ay inayos ko man lang ang mukha ko para hindi nakakahiya.

"Let's go." aniya atsaka hinawakan sa siko para alalayan.

My heart fell.

He didn't even hug me nor held my hand. He didn't kiss my forehead like he used to do.

His presence was really comforting but I couldn't just deny the unusual pang in my chest that I have been feeling since that night he didn't show up.

Yumuko nalang ako at nagpaakay sa kanya. He opened the car door for me and reached for the seatbelt to buckle it himself. Magkalapit ang mga mukha namin. I even felt my nose graze his cheek briefly. His familiar scent attacked my nose and I wished he could be close to me like this forever.

I was waiting for him to look at me but he didn't. Tahimik lamang s'yang kumilos hanggang sa umikot na s'ya para sumakay sa driver's seat.

I watched him put on his seatbelt. I wanted to reach for his hand and asked him to look at me but I didn't have that kind of courage anymore when it comes to him. I couldn't do that because it felt wrong.

Kanina lang sa ibang kotse ay may kahalikan ako. Ngayon ay iba ang kasama ko.

This... everything felt so wrong but I knew I would still do it.

A soft music was crooning from his speaker. Hanggang sa magsimula na s'yang mag-drive ay hindi pa rin n'ya ako nililingon. Kahit sana banggitin n'ya lang 'yung pangalan ko o kahit kamustahin lang sana n'ya ako ay okay na... pero hindi n'ya ako kinikibo.

Napilitan lang ba s'ya? Naawa?

Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa upuan at ipinikit ang mga mata. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang tanong na naglalaro sa isip ko. If he wouldn't want to be with me, he would never answer my call in the first place. He ignored me for weeks now. Maybe this was out of kindness but it was fine with me. I'd take it.

"Eleanor,"

Nagising ako nang maramdaman kong may humawak sa kamay ko. I opened my eyes and grunted because of the slight pain I felt on my neck.

The first thing I saw was Gabriel's face. I was slightly embarrassed so I pretended to look outside.

It was already dark.

The place was familiar because we already went here together. We were in their old house again. I cleared my throat and before I could unbuckle my seatbelt, he already did it for me. Pinanood ko ang mabilis n'yang paglabas at pag-ikot sa gilid ko para pagbuksan ako ng pinto. He even held to the top of my head to protect it from bumping on the door frame. After he closed it, he went over to the backseat and retrieved a paper bag from it.