I Cross My Heart

Part 1

I sprinkled flour on the counter and plopped the ball of dough in the center of the mess. Taking just a little bit more, I put some on top and began needing the beginnings of what was to be sourdough bread.

Fall had finally come around, making it cool enough to have the windows opened.

The crisp breeze was nice since it was rather warm in the kitchen from having the brick oven going.

As I continued to knead the dough, I got lost in my thoughts. Just thinking of the simpler days where if you needed things like bread, you could just drive to the store... but there was something calming and prideful in making it yourself.

A knock on the screen door made me curse and jump, which in turn made the guest that was knocking double over in laughter.

"Goddamnit Ellie!" I gasped.

Joel stood behind her, shaking his head trying his best not to laugh along with her.

"Ellie," he scolded.

I snapped my fingers at the both of them as they came in, "Nuhuh! You thought it was hilarious too, so zip it!"

Joel chuckled and tipped an imaginary hat, "Yes Ma'am,"

I squinted my eyes and bit my lip as I went back to kneading. Had I mentioned how handsome Joel was? No? Well let me just say, hot damn!

"You shoulda seen your face!" Ellie laughed, sitting on the bar stool.

I mocked her with a whiny voice, "You shoulda veena, veena, veena,"

Joel did laugh loudly as Ellie flipped me off. I blew her a kiss, "Love ya too, twerp,"

"So whatcha makin'?" She asked.

"Sourdough bread for the dance tonight,"

Both Joel and Ellie took a deep breath through their noses and sighed happily.

"Can I help?" She asked.

I nodded, "Sure. Hang up your jacket and wash your hands,"

Joel and I shared a smile as he leaned near the door, his thumb hooking into his jeans. Once Ellie was done, I had her start another batch.

"Now ya gotta follow these directions to the T, okay?" I say, pointing to the card with my pinky.

"Got it!"

"Joel, can you get that oil over there?" I asked him, looking over my shoulder towards the counter.

"Yes Ma'am," he did as I asked.

As he sat it next to the bowl, he placed his free hand on my lower back, then moved to his original spot. I could feel the heat make my cheeks red.

I put some oil in the bowl and rubbed it around, busying myself from having to look at Joel. I could feel him watching my every move.

"So you have a date to the dance tonight?" Ellie asked, as she measured out the flour.

"No," I shook my head, "I'm just dropping this food off and then coming back home,"

"What? Why?" She asked.

Ellie wasn't being rude, she was just genuinely curious. I still felt a little embarrassed, so I just shrugged.

"I just wasn't asked," I placed a tea towel over the bowl, not bothering to look at either of them. I placed it on the counter away from my workspace and washed my hands.

"I'll be right back," I said, needing to get some more tea towels from upstairs.

As I walked away, I heard Ellie whisper yelling something to Joel. As I jogged up the steps, I sighed, shaking my head.

As a nearly forty-something woman during the end of the world, I still had my insecurities, but I couldn't dwell on it. Going down that rabbit hole would surely spell disaster.

I grabbed the last four tea towels and skipped down the steps. I came to halt when I saw Joel at the bottom, one leg propped on a higher step while he leaned his arms on his knee.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

He cleared his throat and scratched at his beard, "Can we talk?"

I nodded and felt my anxiety rise a notch. We went to the living room and sat on the couch. I played with the fringe on the towel and waited for Joel to say whatever he needed to say.

"Um, would... would you like to go to the dance with me?"

My eyes snapped to him, taking in his blushing cheeks. I could feel mine heating up as well, but then those damn insecurities came to the surface.

"Joel, what I said in there-" I began as I pointed to the kitchen.

At first I saw his shoulders deflate slightly, but then his brow furrowed while he turned to me and took my wrist in his hand.

He shook his head, "I planned on askin' ya way before, so I'm not askin' outta pity, Y/N,"

"But why me?" I couldn't help to say.

His brow smoothed out and a small grin graced his handsome face, "Because I like ya, Darlin'. So what ya say? Make this old man happy and go with me?"

"I'd love to," I whispered.

Joel traced my jaw, "Okay, then,"

"Yes!" Ellie cheered, making me jump... again.

"Goddamnit, Ellie!"

They both laughed, but all I could focus on was Joel's thumb rubbing the top of my hand slowly.