The Inglorious Years They Call High School

Barely able to be in the same room with someone of the opposite gender.

The rest of the day was an adrenaline induced blur. I could hardly remember a thing. I was just hoping I didn't need to remember anyone but Jills name. The green eyed guy didn't tell me his name, he flat out refused even though he spent most of the day by my side. Well I guess that was the other way around seeing as how I knew very few people.

When I walked in the house I realized that I was walking in on another of my parents arguements. Those two never really let up on one another. I'm fifteen and I know that marriage is about comrpomise but these two have been completely pig headed for the last few months. I guess having money to spend now kind of did that to a person.

"You can't just bring around your whore anytime you like Adam! We have children and neither are too fond of you at the moment! Atleast Emi knew what to expect at her old school and now your just throwing her into a completely new environment and not letting me be ther for her?! Do you remember what happened last time?" By the end of her rant she had stopped shouting and they had jumped from one anothers whores to me. The problem child.

"I am the man of the house I decide how we raise our children-" she cut him off before he could finish his unfiltered thought.

"NOT WHEN THAT CHILD IS BARELY ABLE TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER! Not when that child was unable to attend her first three therapy sessions without vomitting, crying and shaking for hours after. Regardless of the gender. Not when that child had to take three xanax just to get to school even though that still didn't stop her fear. You do not get to tell me I can't support my child and you do not get to do that when you have your girlfriend over" she was seething, barely even breathing. I was getting really sick of walking into these when I didn't have my ipod.

"Hey! I'd ask how your days were but I can tell it's not the time so I'm just gonna say this: Firstly and most importantly, sort your shit out get counselling or get a divorce I don't care anymore. Secondly, if I have to walk into this house and hear this again I'm leaving, you do it enough when I'm here but after realizing I could barely remember my day I don't want to have to listen to this. And thirdly, neither of you get to argue about how to raise me or support me regardless of the fact that I am fifteen I know whats best for me and you guys don't. You aren't me and after the last two years putting yourselves in my shoes would be pretty hard, I love you guys and all but I can look after myself" I walked away before they continued to shout at each other about whose fault it was that I felt the need to tell them that.

It was time to pretend I didn't exist, which meant I needed to find where I left my internet usb. I was going to blog, I had a lot to do. I needed to make a video I hadn't for a while and it was kind of worrying, I stopped posting them after I was raped so I felt guilty. After I'd made and edited the video I begun fixing up my blog, I was trying to make up for the lack of posting, I'd been busy figuring out everything in my life and fixing myself I suppose.

After I felt I had supplied a sufficient amount of information about the last few months I begun to go through and catch up with a few of my favourite bloggers. I figured they would atleast of had a more interesting time the I had. I decided to talk to a guy named Cody. He had helped me a few times in the last year when things felt all too heavy for me. He seemed to be genuinely kind and following my tumblr he would know or soon find out about everything lately so I didn't actually have to tell him anything. He would read the post and then we would chat, just like we used to.

Ironically I could chat with him over skype quite comfortably, contrary to my mums belief I wasn't completely predjudiced to the entire gender, I was still holding a grudge about how my dad had treated me after they found out I had been raped. I was really angry and talking to Cody about it really helped. By the end of the night I had completely vented and talked myself to a point of exhaustion. I fell asleep on skype.