Fighting for people in life only leads to disappointment, because change is inevitable with people. Sadly, over the past couples of weeks, months I haven't at all learnt my lesson and I've only come to the sudden realisation that I have been fighting for something that I believed was real, but isn't. Now, I feel like with the coincidence of a new year that maybe it is also a time to move on.
When I fight, I either let my guard down after a while or I fight too hard in which case I end up with the same outcome. In this instance, I have fought too hard while the other person hasn't fought back at all. Believe me, if it wasn't for me our friendship would've been over long ago.
Just tonight I have never felt this alone. I've had empty promises, no replies from my texts and no one has even texted or called me! Tell me, if I had stopped texting and calling people would they notice? Or would they just carry on with their lives? The saddest part of the matter is, is that I think they would be happy to move on.
I sit downstairs, all alone with my phone. Calling and messaging people to fill the loneliness that surrounds me. Now, you may ask, you have family don't you? Well, I do. But, honestly they only make me feel more alone and it only depresses me.
While, sitting alone talking to people reminds me that good things must always come to an end and that people do come and go. Tonight was different somehow, it made me realise that I didn't want this anymore. Sure, I had been through nights like this before… but when do you finally say to yourself that it's enough?
With some people, I feel like I have to hold my foot to stop the door from being slammed in my face. But, now maybe I just have to walk away and knock on other people's doors to see if they'll invite me in. I'm going to go into the New Year being stronger and wiser than ever.
So, my New Year's Resolution will be to let go of these people because I don't see why I should have to put up with another year of this.
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My Mind's Eye
Non-FictionJust entries on my thoughts and how they counteract with their meaning and everything else that goes on in my world.
