BAUtifully Broken ☑️

~ daddy issues ~

~ all that chit chat is gonna get you hurt ~

A part of me wanted to apologize to Dave, knowing I over reacted, but a bigger part of me was pissed.

I had no reason to be, I don't even know why I was so mad, but I was.

Maybe it was the concept of a family that got to me.

I had been hurt to many times by family or for family that I didn't want to add any unnecessary pain.

I know what family did to people, hell I was the distraction, kept the kid busy well Tomas killed each father or mother who didn't pay him back.

The kid might not understand the words their parents were screaming but I did.

The 'no's' and 'please don't's' haunt me at night.

I have my family, my siblings, that's enough pressure, enough worry, enough stress.

I know I can protect them.

I would never forgive myself if I couldn't protect Aaron or Jack.

I couldn't forgive myself if I made the promise to be part of a family and them to get hurt.

There is to much to lose if something goes wrong, I never want to hurt as much as I did when Max was murdered.

I never want anyone to hurt like that.

I never want anyone know what I'm feeling so they won't worry about me, because then I have to worry about them.

I just don't want to become attached and be hurt when someone gets shot or dies, or even just ignores me.

I'm fine with how I am now, and I wasn't about to let anything change.

*

The strong aroma of coffee lulled my out of my sleep.

I raise my head from my elbows, my brown eyes meeting a dark green coffee mug.

Scrunching my eyebrows together, I sit up in my chair, my neck slightly sore.

Eyeing the coffee, I look around the room, trying to find the source of the caffeine.

I hand falls on my shoulder, causing me to grip the hand and bend down, throwing them over me into my desk.

I glare him, "How many times do I have to tell you guys not to touch me," I growl out.

Dereck let out a low grunt, "Sorry princess,"

I just roll my eyes, "Fuck off," I mumble.

Ya I know, real mature, but honestly I don't care.

Turning on my heel, I walk away, ignoring the fact that my desk is literally broke in half.

Standing in front of the coffee machine someone clears there throat behind me.