"Evan?"I asked,putting my fork down slowly. I sat up straighter pushing my hair out of my face,lost on how I should be feeling.
"Yeah Cat."She could hear his grin through the phone,she knew him well and she could imagine the smug look on his face. "It was great seeing you,I missed you."
"Evan don't-"I shut my eyes,trying to hold back the tears. I hadn't thought about what happened between us in so long,and today seemed to be the day for me to finally face all of my feelings about my complicated relationship with Evan.
"Please. Have dinner with me? I just want to talk to you."He pleaded,a hopeful tone in his voice.
"I can't. Not tonight."I whispered,I felt like I could cry at any minute.
"Okay,that's not a no. I can work with that."He answered,making me laugh. He always was insistent.
"Why did you call,Evan?"I asked,abandoning my food and just going straight for the wine.
"When I saw you today,it was like all of these old feelings came back. It was like some kind of sign,seeing you again."He sighed.
I wiped at my eyes,his words describing my feelings exactly. I hadn't thought about Evan in so long,leaving town after what happened between us to focus on my career and this unprocessed hurt was clearly not healed. "I know,I feel the same way."
"I regret it everyday. Losing you was the worst thing I've ever been through."
Tears kept falling from my eyes,each word that left his lips only making my heart hurt more. "I loved you,Evan."I whispered,a sob mixed in my words.
"I still love you,Cat."His voice cracked,and it hurt me more than it should to think that he was crying.
I ended the call a while later,sniffles coming from both of us. I had agreed to the dinner,knowing that it'd be best for me to face all the pain and love that surrounded my past with Evan Buckley. Making my way to my room,I grabbed the small box that held old photos of Evan and I. One was of us in high school,both of us smiling at the camera while he held me on his back after giving me a piggy back ride. I felt more tears well up in my eyes as I finally found the 2 photos I had been looking for.
A sob wracked through my body as I stared at the sonogram of the baby I never got to meet. I had never gotten the chance to tell Evan I was pregnant with his baby,having made the discovery after I had left. I placed the extra photo in my purse,knowing this was something I'd have to tell him.
___________________________________
The next morning I placed a steaming coffee on Athena's desk,moving to sit right across from her as I sipped on mine.
"Just what I needed."She raised the cup in salute,a warm smile on her face. She raised a perfect brow in my direction as I sat across from her silently,my mind drowning in the past. "What's on your mind?"Her motherly tone made the tears well in my eyes,a shaky breath leaving my lips as I controlled my emotions.
"The past. It has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass."I sighed,getting ready for our day.
"The firefighter?"She placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. I smiled in gratitude,nodding at her words. I hadn't had a mother to talk my things about with in so long,so Athenas motherly nature was something I hadn't realized I needed so much.
Her warm brown eyes met mine,understanding behind her strong gaze. "Whenever you want to talk about it,you can always talk to me."
I smiled at her kind words,knowing she meant it. "Let's get this day started." I sighed,adjusting my belt. We made our way out to the squad car,Athena asking me about my time as a cop in New York.
