My Romeo {English version}

•°S i x°•

• Narrated by Eunji •

All eyes are on me.  I cannot go back as much as I want, otherwise I will be considered his accomplice and I will have the same fate.  Against my will I raise the sword, fighting against its weight I raise the object as much as I can.  With two blows thanks to the weight of the blade, the head rolls on the floor.  My dad stares at me and then I walk over to the skull and hold him by the servant's long hair.  Being in front of the cameras, I fight not to throw up.  My dress, hair, face and breasts are soiled with the blood of the man who, with the first blow of the blade, had squirted.  My father laughs like crazy, maybe he really is, the court laughs too.  I walk over to him and give him his head, he receives it with loud laughs.  After seconds that seem to last an eternity, the recording ends.  I walk over to the guard and hand him the bloodied sword, then proceed towards the exit from the throne room, followed by the entire court.

I go to my room, Youra to see my condition will prepare my bath quickly.  I need to forget about what happened, definitely my birthday just got horrible.  Five of August of one thousand five hundred and ten, the date, month and year when I first killed.  Youra immediately calls me with a nod indicating that the bath is ready.  I go into the bathroom, take off my heels and necklace, the maid helped me take off my bloody clothes and then leaves me naked and alone.  I walk over to the bathtub and slowly enter the water, the liquid takes on a reddish tinge, I hold my breath and sink into the bathtub, after counting up to thirty I return to the surface breathing deeply.

I close my eyes.  The image of the corpse along with everything that happened seconds ago comes to mind.  I start to cry feeling devastated, dirty, feeling the worst person on the face of the earth.  I hear after a few minutes, footsteps walking towards me.

— Are you alright?  — Chan's sweet voice sounds throughout the room.

I shake my head and let out a deep, frustrated breath.  I open my eyes to face the wall.

— You had no choice.  — he says analyzing my expression.  — Just as I don't have the choice to stay here to take care of you.

— He knows how much I hate violence.  I can't believe I killed him, even if he was a traitor.

— Our mother tried to convince him but he said that you need to mature, otherwise the kingdom will become weak when you assume it.

— Is that what she told you about talking to him?  — I look at the biggest one seeing him nod.

He starts washing me, I cry with the memory of the blood splashing on me, feeling like a monster.  Chan finishes my shower after a few minutes, I get up, get out of the bath and he dresses me in the robe.  We walk into my room, I sit on the dressing table, the boy untangles and dries my hair quickly, as soon as he finishes, I lie on the bed.  Chan walks to my closet taking a couple of minutes in the room, he leaves and approaches me, beside me he deposits a black dress, short and with long sleeves that show his shoulders.  I watch him take stiletto heels out of a box, his color also black.  Chan takes my hands and lifts me up.

— You need to be strong, forget the death of this guy!  He was a traitor and that's how you should see him.  I don't want you to suffer for it!  Smile!

I force myself to smile, as much as I don't want to say he is right, I need to show that I am strong otherwise I will be forced to kill others and I already have too much blood on my hands.  Chan leaves the room for me to dress and as soon as I finish, I call the biggest one who enters my room.  The boy points to the dressing table where I sit, he looks at my face that is red from crying!

— You need to show him that you will be an incredible queen, strong and that you will not be moved by anything!  — says, I just nod.

Chan is quick to do light makeup with neutral tones on me.  I perfume myself while he fixes my hair in a chignon bun.  I wonder who he learned all this from, it was most likely from Youra.

— Are you ready for afternoon tea and to have your Trazyu class.

We left my room arm in arm and walked towards the front of the palace where everyone is.  My brother and I sat side by side.  To my unhappiness Count Suk takes his place beside me, Chan does not seem to notice his presence.  Afternoon tea walks quietly for me, until I feel a hand caress my skin.  The hand goes from my knee to my ass, the touch comes from the right side of my body, that is, the hand belongs to the count.  (Fact about the author, the description of the harassment is real, the harasser was my classmate.)

I go into shock, without having a reaction, I doubt my own eyes, I doubt my own mind.  It's not real, it can't be, I'm imagining it, right?  I repress the urge to cry.  I try to get away from his touch but he gets closer and continues to touch me.  I move so far away that I am on the edge of the chair, almost falling to the floor.  Chan does not notice the situation, as do the others present.  I feel his hand running around the inside of my thigh, almost touching my intimacy.  I remove his hand from me but soon he returns it touching my skin again.  This continues until the end of afternoon tea, which is almost an hour and twenty long.  When I get up I feel his touch on my ass again, I run looking for Chan.  I see him beside Donghun, I quickly approach and in a desperate way, I take him with me to my room.  The boy seems confused by my act.  Finally I release the tears that wanted to fall and the hug.

— Eunji, what happened ??  — he wraps his arms around my waist.

— C-Count Suk, he harassed me.  — I say with a broken voice, your embrace becomes stronger.

— That son of a bitch!  I'm going to kill that bastard !!  — raises the tone of voice.

— H-he was touching my right leg and almost touching my intimacy.  — I say to sobs.

— I'm sorry I didn't notice, forgive me little?  I'm an idiot!  — he cracks his jaw and then kisses my forehead.

The boy releases me and leaves the room, completely furious.  I throw myself on the bed and weep there waiting for him to come back while I replay the whole event like a movie in my mind.