So this is horrible and I wrote it in like... 5 minutes because I'm bored. Enjoy!
"Can you believe my parents said that?" I complained for the millionth time. My parents say a lot of rude shit, but this one had been sticking on me.
"Yes, I can. You're parents suck, Kit.
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"My mom called be a bastered so I said, well I'm a son of a bitch too, so she kicked me out for the night. Can I sleep here?" I ask. He rolls his eyes.
"Come on in."
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"I was just in my room, naked after my shower and dad comes in and thought I was having sex? Even though I had a towl at my feet and my hair was wet? So he searched through my room for a girl and found my gay porn magazines."
"Dude. What the fuck."
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"I found an empty bleach can so I washed it out and filled it with chocolate milk. When my mom saw she just said, 'finally' and walked away."
He was laughing to hard to talk.
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"I went up to my dad and told him I was hungry so he locked the kitchen and glared at me. When did we even get a lock on the kitchen?"
"When they found you in the pantry at 2 am steping on the chips."
"How do you remember this stuff, Ethan?"
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"My mom called the cops on me because I slept in the living room and she didn't like that."
"Why did you sleep in the living room?"
"I got dish soap on my bed."
"How?"
"Shh! Class is starting!"
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"So my parents decided to send me to that church camp."
"You know what, I'm your dad now. And your mom. I'm your... dom."
"..."
"WAIT!"
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"Hey, Kit?"
"Yes daddy?"
"NOOOO!"
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"Hey Ethan?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm in love with you."
He kissed me.
