Orianna

Chapter 19

Orianna's POV

Devastated isn't even the feeling that I feel when those words leave her mouth.

Tears are falling from my eyes and I'm unable to stop them, almost as if I don't have control over my body.

I had a baby in me.

I had a baby in me and it died before I could nurture it. Before I could feel my tummy swell because of another life residing in it.

I miscarried. I'm a bad mom. I couldn't even become a mom.

"Shhh. Ana. It's okay." I hear Quillon's voice.

He's got me in a hug, and my hands are gripping his shirt.

"I lost our baby, Quillon." I sob out.

"Both you and the baby weren't ready my love." He runs his hand through my tangled hair.

I hear the door open the shut.

"I feel horrible. I'm a horrible mom. I can't even safely keep my baby in my womb, I lost it.." he picks me up when my knees start to give out.

He places me on the counter and goes to flush the toilet.

"No!" I cry out.

"What's wrong baby?"

"You just flushed down our baby, Quillon." I sob even more. "You should've left it there."

"Baby," he starts and I shake my head.

"Let's get you cleaned up then we can cuddle and talk about this okay?" He says and I just stare at him as more tears cloud my eyes.

I feel him out me down before gently pulling up my hospital gown.

He turns on the shower and let's the water run for a little before take us in.

He washes my body and I see evidence of my miscarriage, as a pinkish substance goes down the drain.

I hug Quillon in the shower and he quickly hugs me back as we stand under the artificial rain.

We hold each other there for a while before he turns off the shower and takes us out.

He wraps a towel around his lower half before grabbing a towel to dry me off.

He helps me on the hospital gown before slipping on his sweat pants and t-shirt then taking us back into the room.

"Ana... Babe, look at me." He lifts my chin so I can look at him from our lying down position on the bed.

"None of the events that took place are your fault." He reassures me.

"But I couldn't keep our baby in, I couldn't grow our baby." I cry.

"That's because your body isn't strong enough to provide nutrients to the both of y'all."

"You're right. I should've eaten more, but I don't ever feel like eating Quillon-I, the only thing I feel like doing is sleeping. I'm tired from doing nothing and only eat when I remember to or feel like. I'm sorry I lost our bab-" I loudly sob into his chest.

"It's not your fault. Stop thinking that you're doing nothing when your body is actually fighting all those bad cancer cells in your system. The baby couldn't stay in because your body didn't want it, your body is fighting right now and all those strong chemicals from the chemo are assisting it, that's why your body removed the baby from your system. Your body wasn't ready, my love."

"Why do you seem so okay with this. It was our baby, that the both of us lost but it's like you didn't want it. Do you not want a baby with me and that's why you're okay with the fact that I miscarried?"