Out of Oblivion

Chapter 24

I thought about Grace and what a wonderful sister she was. Her sweet, compassionate spirit and her zeal for people. It saddened me to realize that I looked up to her, instead of her looking up to me, the way it should have been.

            If she were sitting at the table with Bucky, she would have forgotten everything he had ever done or said to her and treated him with kindness and appreciation.

            I pushed aside the thoughts and emotions running inside as I looked at him. He was watching Grace and Rogers. I couldn’t read him, as usual.

            “You having a good time, Bucky?” I began.

            “Hmm, oh, yes,” he replied. I seemed to have shaken him out of a deep thought. “Your sister seems to be having a good time.”

            “Yes, she does…” I replied, smiling.

            “Eleanor, I’m sorry if you had rather me not be here.”

            “Bucky, please don’t.” I stopped him before he could continue. The emotions were pushing through. Every ounce of me was screaming. I didn’t understand. Or maybe I just didn’t want to understand.

            Bucky held his tongue. I kept my eyes on him and let my mind wander freely. My eyes traced over his jaw line up to the tips of his dark, chocolate hair. They fell to his furrowed brow, his stormy eyes, down to his nose and over his perfectly shaped mouth. He was dashing.

            There. I admitted it. Maybe it was only in my head, but somehow admitting it calmed the storm inside me. He looked at me and I glanced away quickly, feeling my face blush.

            “Do you dance, Eleanor?” Bucky asked me. My gut tightened.

            “Um, yes.”

            “Would you…like to?” Bucky choked out. My gut twisted.

            I gathered the courage to look at him and nod. “I’ll even dance with you, Bucky.” I let my lips curve up. His eyes smiled back.

            We both stood up and met each other face to face on the dance floor. He held up his real hand and I slowly tucked my hand in his. Slowly and gently, as if testing the chilly waters, Bucky placed his metal arm on my back and pulled me closer to him. My breath escaped me.

            As the next slow and soothing song began to play, I tried to think of us as just coworkers, or even acquaintances. But as we swayed together and our eyes locked, something else stirred in the deep crevices of my heart. The closeness and the feeling of my cold, small hand in his soft warm hand sent chills running over my arms.

            Bucky leaned in and whispered in my ear, “You’re shaking.”

            My face reddened. “Am I? Must be the cold winter air,” I answered, trying to cover the actual reason.

            He smiled tenderly as he sent me twirling out. I spun back into his arms and felt my heart swell. Bucky pulled me so close that we were almost touching. I sucked in a breath, which didn’t come back out. He held me like a delicate flower. I felt safe and cared for, but also overcome with emotion.  

            His mouth was level with my ear. “I don’t think Grace or Steve have even noticed us.”

            My eyes searched for them. I don’t think I’ve even noticed them since we started dancing. I thought silently. I found them swaying slowly, their eyes locked on each other. Rogers said something that sparked a smile across Grace’s face. I smiled at the sight.

            Grace and Steve. It sounded nice. I smiled again, almost laughing. The thought provoked a question in my mind.

            “Bucky,” I began.

            “Mmm.”

            “What’s your real name?”

            He didn’t answer at first. I was afraid I may have insulted him somehow. But then he answered. “James. James Buchanan Barnes.”

            “James…that’s a nice name. Why doesn’t anyone call you that?”

            “After the nickname ‘Bucky’ started, it stuck. I got used to it, I guess.”

            “Do you ever miss being called James?” I ventured.

            I felt his lips against my hair as he answered, “It sure sounds nice when you say it.” My face and ears get warm and I desperately hoped that he didn’t notice.   

            The song ended and we pulled away. Our eyes met and I smiled. “Thank you for the dance…James.”