We were happy. I thought Xavier's gonna be the guy that I'm gonna be married to. The guy who will grow old with me, for short the guy I wanna settle with for the rest of my life.
But those were just dreams and fantasies. After two long years, we bro...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
1984
I was wearing my favorite yellow shirt today, this is my 'take-away-the-bullshit" shirt.
It's like a shirt that could make bad vibes go away. Yes.
"Babe, you're still not going to the party?" Montana asked, she was all dressed for the party that Xavier- yes, my ex-boyfriend throw up. I looked at her and gave her a soft smile before shaking my head no. I would love to go, but it will be totally awkward for me and for him.
"When will you keep doing this to yourself?" She asked, she walked towards me and hugged me.
"I'm fine, Monty" I smiled at her. "Really, It's been- what eight months?" I added. "I'm beginning to feel okay" I lied. I was not really okay, I don't know for how long will I keep torturing myself.
"But you're building up these walls away from the world, El." She said worriedly.
"Yeah, I guess it's kinda okay for me to do that. I don't want to get hurt again." I said, looking down "Now you go have fun!" I kissed her forehead, slowly pushing her away.
Montana has that sad eyes every time she would walk out of the door. She wants me to go out with her, she wants me to go out to the world again and have fun. I did that last time, then I fell in love and after two long years, I got my heart broken. So never again.
I did my everyday routine. I watched some sitcoms, play music, dance and pretend that I'm still in my aerobics class.
I do whatever I could do just to make this brokenness inside me fades.
"Babe, how many kids would you like to have?" Xavier asked me while we were laying on his bed, naked. I giggled at his question, it's kinda cute, to be honest.
"Three or four" I answered him.
"Just four?" He questioned. I laughed and playfully slap his chest.
"What? Do you think I can bear 13 children?" I said, blushing.
"Well, we can make 20 children and build a big house if you like. It will be just for us." He said I admire him every time he talks about our future. I was just staring at him as he talk.
"If we will be having 20 babies, you need to work really hard," I said, my fingers roaming around his torso.
"That's not a problem, Ellie. I don't care about losing sweat or blood if it means coming home with you waiting on the fucking door with our 20 kids in the background." He said, I chuckled leaving kisses all over his face.
