Under Control.

6. 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵

"I love you..." he groaned. "...so much..." Holding himself up, he turnt to stare at her. Sweat glistening between them, it was dark but the dimmed lights were enough for them to stare at each other. Something about this moment, right there and there told both of them that they were too far gone in this mess. She could feel him pulsating inside her with no movement. She wondered why he had randomly stopped.

"I love you." he said it again.

"... you love her too." She mumbled immediately ruined the mood. She felt him soften inside her. Frustrated, he pulled out and slept on his side of the bed. He let out a groan. He hated this feeling. Yet another hotel room, her roommate was starting to be suspicious. They had to be extra careful. Him being a professor and being found on campus dorm rooms would not sit well with anyone. What they had was lethal, one day they were having a big argument and the next they were having coffee in silence. One day they'd be giving each other silent treatment and the next he'd be bending her over his desk. One day he would be ignoring her calls and texts while spending time with his wife and daughter and the next she'd be receiving dozen roses on her door.

—

She blocked him.

Another attempt to end it all.

Her mental health was not in a good place academically, emotionally, physically. Not attending class that whole week, sleeping on her single bed watching vampire diaries. Why did she never get sick of it? It was a question she asked herself often. Perhaps only because Ian reminded her of Hunter, his quirky jokes... smile and... it hurt. Everything hurt. She tried to move on, she couldn't. New York would always be tied to Hunter. She had so many memories with him. He had given her the best times of her life like Disney world, Bahamas weekend, Los Angeles road trip and also the worst times of her life. Not being able to hold her phone, shaking nervously as she received more and more Facebook messages from his wife. She had to block her too for the sake of her sanity. Karishma was good at hiding her feelings and acting as if she was okay. To everyone she was fine.

Hearing a knock.

She kept silent and still.

She had not been expecting anyone.

"It's me." He whispered. He never wanted to be seen at her dorm or anywhere near campus dorm rooms but here he was. Wanting to always keep everything well put for the public.

"It's uh Mr Clifford... you missed an important test, Miss Naidoo." He said against the door gruffly. She knew there were probably too many people around for him to speak casually towards her.

She kept still.

Vampire diaries kept playing.

She knew he'd give up soon enough. He had a wife and daughter to go back home to. Hunter has suggested she go for therapy after her abortion but she refused. She never wanted to speak of their unborn child ever again. Not after that day. It was a decision they had both come to. He had made it clear that whatever her decision was he would stand by her. She appreciated that but it was too much. She could not bring a child into this toxic relationship or whatever it was. Hunter was not her boyfriend, he was not anything to her. To a certain extent, she felt used. He leeched off her happiness until she had nothing to offer. His marriage lacked that and he found that excitement in her. Regardless she was hopeful, everything would be fine. Hunter needed to get out of her life, for good. Soon she'd be able to go home and everything would be fine. She will never return to this evil forsaken city no matter how many opportunities it brought. She could not wait to leave this behind her. The many times, Hunter had told her that he would never leave his wife for her, it was starting to sink in. He had lied, there was never a divorce process going on. He was attending marriage counseling with her. He lied. She would soon find a temporary job, find a way to pay him back for everything before she leaves. Return all the gifts. Return everything. She did not want to be indebted to him for life. What kept her going was... graduation, it was six months away. She would be able to leave. Finally, they'd be worlds apart. Perhaps that's how it had been meant to stay.