Favourite worst nightmare.

Chapter II

The next morning, I find myself in an unfamiliar bed. That is really strange. I can't remember how I got in here.
The place I am in looks like a really fancy hotel room. I sit slowly on the bed, because I already feel my head and stomach spinning like crazy.
I try to remember what happened last night. All I can clarify in my mind is that I met someone. A guy probably. Yes, it was a guy and his name was Alex, and somehow he was different.

Why was I in his room?
Did we..? Just then I realise I have male clothes on, a t-shirt and a pair of enormous pyjama pants.
Again, I can't remember and I panic.
He isn't here, though.
Just then, I hear the sound of water flowing from another door. The bathroom, probably. So he is here.
I stand up very carefully, not losing my balance thanks to some kind of miracle, and I search for my clothes. I need my phone right now. Sarah has probably called at least one billion times and she's going to kill me with her bare hands when I'll get home.

I find my phone, keys and money on the bedside table. I turn on the phone, and as soon as I put the code in, it starts ringing from multiple texts and missed calls. I smile and sigh at the same time. Good old Sarah.
I call her.
She picks up at first ring.
"Hey Sa.." She cuts me before I can even finish her name.
"ARE YOU INSANE? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" She screams in my ear. I distance the phone from my ear, otherwise I'll become deaf.
"Listen, I drank a bit too much and I..."
Again, she cuts the sentence "I DO NOT FUCKING CARE, COME HOME RIGHT NOW!"
I stay quiet, listening to her heavy angry breath.
After some seconds she says "Are you alright?" I smile, moved by how she always cares for me.
"Yes, I'll get home soon".
"Okay, we'll talk when you're here." I can feel a bit of relief in her voice.

After she ends the call, I hear the bathroom door opening. My idea is to tell this Alex(I don't even rember his face) I really have to go, grab my stuff and get away from here.
But everything I wanted to do just vanished as soon as I looked at his face.
All the pieces of yesterday evening's puzzle fall back into place and all I can think about is that I have to stay. I can't go.
He's wearing a plain white t-shirt with a v-neck and a pair of black jeans, looking hot even after a hangover.
He smiles at me with that crooked smile which drove me crazy last night and my head becomes blurry again.
I can't think clearly.
I smile back, hesitantly. I am amazed by how someone I don't even know makes me feel the way I haven't felt for ages.
"How do you feel?" He asks, looking sincerely concerned about me.
"Do I look that bad?"
"You look wonderful." That's too sweet for me. I get this feeling I never want to leave. But I know I have to, it's no good to feel like that. C'mon you stupid ass girl, you met him yesterday.
"Are you in there?" I hear his amazed tone which shakes all of my thoughts off.
I have to go, Sarah's waiting for me.
"Look, I really have to go.." He looks kind of sorry about that.
"Just wait, I'll grab your stuff and give you a lift" he says, while he puts his leather jacket on.
"I can go on my own, but, by the way, why am I wearing your clothes?" I point at the oversized t-shirt. "And why am I here?"
He smiles again "You spilled beer all over you and you were completely drunk. I wanted to bring you home but it was impossible to get you to answer my questions, so I took you here and changed you in my stuff."
No. This can't be happening. I. Am. So. Fucking. Stupid.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry, how could I be sto stupid.." I start blabbering nonsense but he stands up and places his hand on my mouth to shut me up.
"It's okay, love. I promise. Don't worry about that."
"Thank you. Really."
He lifts his shoulder and turns around, picking up a plastic bag with my clothes on. " if you want to, you can keep the t-shirt. I have thousands."
I smile and thank him again, grabbing the bag to change into my jeans and converse.
Just before that, I turn around and ask "Did we..do anything?"And I rise my eyebrows significantly.
"What do you mean?" He pauses. "Oh. You meant THAT"
"Yes, THAT is exactly what I meant"
"No, no we didn't. "
I exhale in relief and close the bathroom door behind me to get changed.

The drive home is very quiet. I am way too occupied with thinking.
I met this guy. His name is Alex.
I am really really stupid and acting like an hormonal teen crying over her posters.

I can see the outside, the good-looks, the charming attitude and all that stuff.
But I realize there is something deeper.
That something is what attracts me so much towards him.
It's that dark shadow in his eyes, it's the fact that yesterday night we were two loners drinking in a pub, deluded by everyone and everything in this world.
It's what he is hiding from everyone.
Maybe even from himself.
It's the thing that will probably hurt me.

Something inside me just screams to run away, because he's danger, he's no good.
But, as a black hole, he is getting me closer and closer.

I have to run, before it's too late.
Before I get hurt again.
And I already know this time I'm not going to try and survive.
I'll surrender to the pain.

When he stops in front of the building where me and Sarah live, I look at him.
I had almost forgotten he was there.
Again, when I do, an internal alarm screams me to get away and a soothing voice sings in my ears to get closer and closer.
"Thanks for everything" I turn around, and put my hand on the car handle.
"Wait" I look at him again.
"Yeah?"
"Can I have your number?"
I don't know why, I say yes.

When I open the door, Sarah comes running to me and slaps me in the face, then hugs me.
"You stupid little fucker I was worried crazy about you!" She shouts in my hear.
"Hey, could you rise your voice a bit? I think that deaf old lady on the other side of the street hasn't heard you"
She gives me a light punch on the arm "stop acting silly, and tell me where did you spend the whole night!" Then she looks at what I'm wearing. "Whose t-shirt is this?"
"Let me grab some cookies and I'll tell you everything"

After she's heard the whole story, she looks at me like I am insane.
"Jane, I know Mark hurt you, but.."
"but what?!" I answer harshly. "I won't stop drinking because when I think about him I can't stand the idea of being alive! I can't live with it, I have to get away somehow!"
" if you just went back to the doctor..."
"We tried! We tried! But it didn't work! I can't run away from myself, so I have to be away from the others! That's it, we tried but didn't succeed. Get along with it. "
She looks at me, with that look I've seen in her eyes so many times before. She pities me.

I run to my room and lock myself inside.