Favourite worst nightmare.

Chapter III

I go back to my place.

I've had the feeling that the walls of any room I was in were about to fall on me and kill me forever. I felt trapped, every day for months.

But yesterday, I've had a breathe of fresh hair.

She was that breathe.

The way she smiled, talked and moved. The way she seemed complicated, so complicated I could swear that nobody fully disclosed the mystery she was. I didn't think a girl her age could be so pained, so haunted. It was both strange and intriguing.

Arielle comes back into my head for a moment. It's just a moment, but it is enough to take my mind away from that girl.

How can I still be so torn apart?

I open the door to my hotel room, and I lock myself inside. I go straight to the closet, in which I locked my guitar.

I take it out and look at it.

Words start coming out of my mouth smoothly, chords rip themselves out of my fingers and fall onto the string and music fills the room.

"You're so dark, babe

But I want you hard

You're so dark, baby

But I want you hard

You're so dark, oh

But I want you hard

You're so dark, baby"

 I sigh.

I need to see her again.

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I am reading for what may be the hundredth time 'Crime and Punishment'. I try to focus on the pages, but the words just fly away and I forget them the moment I read them.

He keeps on coming back to my mind. Alex.

I keep on thinking about him. I just can't stop.

I think about me, how badly I could suffer. He is danger, it's written all upon that smirk, that leather jacket, that quiff. Still, I feel like a schoolgirl who talked to her crush for the first time.

I feel like I did when I met Mark.

And the feeling I left behind for one day comes rushing back in my throat.

Mark. I cannot afford another Mark.

He is so different, though. Mark was an easy, extrovert boy, exactly the one your mum loves and your friends adore. The one you could be seen walking next to at the cinema or at a fair. The one who always laughs.

But then, there was that dark side. The one which left a permanent scar on me.

Mark looked like sunshine. From a distance, he was the best boyfriend you could ever have. Closer, he would burn you to death.

Alex is dark. That kind of darkness you already know it is full of pain, mysteries, danger; the one you already know you can't escape from.