I feel lightheaded as the egghead draws more blood. I typically try hard to keep my blood inside my body. It’s something of a necessity in my line of work, so to give it up so freely feels strangely violating.
I watch him write ‘Phase 1’ on the vial and place it in a nearby refrigerator. Then he takes a step away from me and says, “Before I tell you about Phase 2 I am going to warn you that you may get a little angry. I strongly advise you not to act on that anger. I don’t want you to get hurt.” I stare at his skinny frame and wonder how many weapons he would need to inflict pain on a hardened street fighter like me. Don’t laugh, I am a hardened street fighter, I fight in the street all the time. I just don’t win very often.
He takes his thick glasses off and says, “My theory for Phase 2 is that once you are aware of what you were injected with, certain aspects of it may change. Others however may remain the same or even be enhanced.” I’m more confused than ever at this point, but he continues, “I suppose I should start at the beginning. I have always had a strong belief in karma, fate, luck, destiny, kismet or whatever else you would like to call it. Unfortunately this does not align with my scientific beliefs. How can you have fate without a higher power to govern it? Who decides what gets punished and what gets rewarded? That is the question that I set out to answer several years ago.
The first challenge was actually proving that karma, or whatever name you choose to give it, is actually a real thing. This took far longer than I anticipated. Whilst it was easy to find extreme examples of good karma it was more challenging to find extreme examples of the bad kind, and with nothing but extreme data points I was struggling to do any kind of scientific analysis.
My first breakthrough was geo-tagging incidents of reported good or bad karma. As I examined where these events occurred I noticed a pattern. Certain locations where people gather, such as bars and churches, were the biggest sources of karma related stories. Again this seemed obvious, if more people spend their time at these locations then there would be a statistically more probable incidence of these events there.
I didn’t think much of this until it occurred to me one morning that perhaps I had the correlation inverted. What if the karma was there because that was where the most people were? This simple concept completely changed the way that I thought about karma. I started looking for it as a tangible entity, something that could be examined and measured. I had stumbled upon something truly amazing.”
It’s not clear how any of this relates to me and so I’m quickly losing interest, “Did you stumble upon the end of this story because Lucky’s going to be getting hungry soon.”
“Have patience, this is the good part. I discovered a new organism, one that had never been previously identified. It’s far too tiny for anyone to see even under the most powerful microscope, but they like to clump together. If you get a high enough concentration you can start to detect them with extremely advanced scientific equipment. That was when I knew I had cracked the mystery. Karma is not a mystical force, it’s an organism, a living creature like you or I. It is part of the natural order, part of our ecosystem, with a very specific role to play. It balances out the energy of the universe, to ensure good deeds are paired with good deeds and bad with bad.”
That last sentence is all I need to confirm my suspicions that this guy is a picnic short of a picnic. I stand up to leave but he runs in front of me, “Wait, you need to understand. The liquid I injected you with yesterday was concentrated karma. I know that is hard to believe, but think back to what happened to you and consider it from that perspective. Every time you did something good you were rewarded, every time you did something bad you were immediately punished.”
I raise my hands to shove him away, but I don’t. It was a bit strange that I lost at cards all those times in a row. The arrest though was just plain unlucky. As soon as I think that I realise there may be something to this after all. I immediately shake my head, this can’t possibly be true, “Let’s say for a second that I believe this nonsense. Surely everyone in the world would notice.”
“I’m afraid it’s not quite so simple. By themselves these organisms have little effect, their influence is so minute nobody notices. It is when they are found in greater numbers that the effects are magnified enough for people to recognise anything unusual is happening. Even then the effects can occur weeks or months later.”
“Ok, so why was I being punished instantly?”
“I injected you with a highly concentrated dose of the organisms. I believe I have discovered a way to breed them in captivity, but up until now they have not survived long enough for the host to see any noticeable effects. I have been adapting my cultivation techniques to breed a more resilient strain, I had to genetically splice them with the common cold to allow them to survive the harsh conditions inside a human body. If I have finally achieved success and they have indeed survived the transition you should be seeing karma amplified by several thousand percent, resulting in an almost immediate reaction to your actions.”
I don’t like the sound of this one bit, “Let me get this straight, if I try and separate people and their money then karma will bite me in the arse and I will always lose? How long is this going to last exactly?”
“I honestly have no idea, it may be a couple of hours, it may be a few more days, it may even be permanent…”
The last word hangs in the air. Without realising it I have balled my hands into fists and I raise my voice, “Permanent! Are you fucking joking? You never said anything about permanent! How am I supposed to make a living if I can’t ply my trade?” I stride towards the egghead as my anger rises.
He holds out his hands, “Remember what we just discussed, you really don’t want to try and hurt me.”
“You bet your arse I do.” I take a swing at him and connect. He goes down hard, knocking over a tray of medical equipment. As he cowers on the floor I stand over him, “You see, you are full of shit. I can punch you all day and the only thing I’m going to get is sore knuckles.”
He starts pointing at something with a worried look on his face. When I follow his finger I discover there’s a nasty looking scalpel sticking out of my thigh. It must have been flung there when the tray went flying. The shock immediately wears off and the pain shoots up through my leg. I hop back into the chair whilst screaming, “HOLY SHIT GET IT OUT!”
The egghead slowly gets back to his feet. He says, “I did try to warn you. Now hold still.”
He pulls the knife out of my leg and dabs it with antiseptic. There’s a dull burn but the pain in my leg subsides slightly. Peter retrieves a first aid kit and stitches up the wound with practiced ease. He looks me right in the eyes, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you all this before we began, but you understand I couldn’t have you falsely reporting results to keep stringing me along. It’s not all bad news you know. The field around you is strong enough that others nearby may be affected. This will be particularly noticeable if they are trying to directly help or hurt you. You can take solace that anyone that attempts to harm you will likely end up considerably worse off.”
I know he’s just trying to comfort me but that does actually help a little. I recall Jimmy slipping and falling whilst trying to attack me. It’s certainly a sight I could get used to, plus it will be fun seeing how long it takes him to figure it out. Provided these organisms can survive long enough for him to learn his lesson I will be safe even when the effects wear off.
Peter checks the wound and says, “You need to rest that while the stitches settle. How about a nice cup of tea?”
I nod and he trots off to make a brew. Unfortunately for him I’m not one for sitting still, especially when I am told to. I test the leg and find it stiff but workable. I hobble over to the far wall to investigate the charts and diagrams. There are hundreds of clippings of news articles, some new and colourful, others old and faded. A quick glance suggests some are good news like lottery winners, lucky co-incidences and the like. Others are much darker, thefts, fires and obituaries. There is red string randomly attached to these articles, connecting them to specific locations like prisons and churches. It is overwhelming trying to follow the pattern of interconnected lines.
Peter appears quietly behind me and hands me my tea. I’m expecting him to chastise my curiosity but instead he says, “It’s pretty amazing huh. I’ve only just begun to scratch the surface. One day these organisms will change the world.”
I look at the string while remembering yesterday and realise maybe, just maybe, he's right.
YOU ARE READING
Getting Lucky
HumorWhen a homeless man saves a young boy from a savage beating he stumbles upon a life changing discovery. Unfortunately it doesn't change for the better. Now he's up against powerful forces that are trying to make him be something he's not, a decent h...
