Indifferent

talking about everything and nothing

" a perfect and beautiful misery."- the sun is also a star

Continued...

"The lower portion has a sun room the tv lounge, the laundry room, a kitchen, mum and dad's room, Rick's room, dinning room and  my library. "

"Mum and dad obviously you know dont have a balcony. "

"Hm"

***

We reached nando's and got our lunch.

"Should we go eat it at home or do you wanna dine in?" Jas asks.

"Let's take it and then we can go eat it on the hill."

"Ok sure."

We got the food and head to the hills around my house and of other millionaires who want to live a simple yet luxurious life.

He parks the car on the sidewalk considering nobody would be walking at this time and nobody was to be seen from far away.

We sat on the crown of the hill facing the back of my house from the east.

5th bite into my casa and my eyes are already tearing.

"You good bro?"
"Yeah. " and now my nose is wet.

I find a tissue and wipe my nose with it and wipe my eyes from my hands.

He looks at me for a while to make sure I'm okay. When he's satisfied he speaks

"So two days huh."
"Yeah."
"How's everything going inside you?"
"A total wreck."
"You cant bring the dead back from life."
"Figured."
"So that couldn't have been the only thing that has wrecked you."
"Destroyed me from inside."
"What is it?"
"Sylas moving away, too."
"Its not like he's going forever."
"Its going to feel like it."
"If you want to feel like it."
"Maybe I do."
"Why?"
"Why do you want to know?You should've helped me in all this not left me and ignored my ass for 2 years straight!"
"I didn't ignore you!"
"Oh yeah. Now that's a lie."
"Seriously, you havent spent a dime on her."
"If you would've let me!"
"I was trying. Ok Rumysa, I was trying to change and I have and I hate it, but i don't complain like a bitch now do i?"
"You did change, thank God for that but you did everything for her not that I'm complaining but you just left me, all alone."
"Oh my lord, you're so full of yourself. "
"You know what, I don't wanna talk to you anymore, I'm taking this with me and thank you for the lunch. " I stand up picking up my food and head towards my house.

"You know this isnt fixing anything!" I hear him yell from behind.

11th January 2023

5:29 a.m

I'm all dressed for today. A white frock and my yin yang necklace. Well not all of it only the good in the bad part of the necklace. The other one was buried with farhan.

I never knew why I got the good in the bad part of the necklace.

I go down and everybody is "dressed." I wear this frock every year on his funeral. It was what I wore the day he died.

He got shot. Right infront of my eyes, and I couldn't do anything.

I blame everyone,even myself for his death. He didnt deserve to die so young just because he had a shitty life and even horrible people around him.

But it's better to die rather than living in chaos.

We're still unsure who did it.

The grieve passes on to other people. Who later realise how special you are.

We sit in the car and drive off to the grave yard. Its a gloomy day, as it should be.

We arrive and get out of the car one by one. Jasim's family is already there and my aunts and uncles, who could come. All of farhan's friends came. Some with family some alone. All of us siblings' did too, mine and sylas' being the same, except Rick's.

A shit ton of people were their. Its not that we were late. They were just early, earlier than us. The impossible turned into a possibility.

We all just stood there for a moment before you hear women crying. One starts so does the other and like this more than half of the females here were crying. Bullshit.

Men with their heads bowed, some trying to calm the women. I stood their right infront of his grave, knowing crying will never bring him back.

My mum and I spread Rose's on his grave and sat besides it.

"He liked Jasminum sambac more." I said and mom SALTS.

She pulls me closer to her and cries in my chest.

The other people saying their goodbyes and well wishes to dad and leaving like the wind.

10:46 a.m

"Its been hours Saliha let's go." My dad asks my mom.

She nods her head no. Shes been denying for the past 45 minutes but dad wont let it rest.

"It's going to rain."
"Let it."
"Go mum I'll stay."
"No"
"He'd want you to eat"
"I dont want to eat."
"I'll bring them something to eat." Jasim adds.
"No need" dad replies.

Mum wipes her eyes for the billionth time and straightenes her dress.
"Ok" she finally replies and her and dad leave leaving me and Jasim here by the grave.

He had been standing for hours and now finally sat down.

"You're not hungry?"
"Nope"
"Hm"
"Son of a bitch didnt shed a tear."
"I tried not to join your mum."
"Ha ha."

He put his arm around me, me kind of hugging him, and breathes he wants to say something but his voice breaks, he's crying.

"I didnt want him to leave like this."
He looks up at the sky with watery eyes, his lips in a straight line.

"But he did."
"Why? Because your parents treated him like shit like they treat you. I couldn't save him but I'll save you."
"You know we need to bring sky here someday."

I had stayed silent during all this but now I spoke " yes obviously. She'd love to meet him. Or at least visit his grave."

"We only have 7 months Rumysa."
"I know, I'll be a senior then and you'd already be in your first year of college."

"Yup and that also means I'd be getting an apartment. "
"Yup too bad your frat experience would be ruined."

He scoffs and says " not really, coming over to these dorks' houses really feels like it's a frat."

"With parents. "
He smiles "yeah but they cant be at two sides of the house at once. What do you think my friends are eh?

"They're mine too and they are not the ones rich it's their parents."

"Hm I feel like I watched a little too much housewives of Beverley hills yesterday with mum. I need to get a life. No WE need to get a life."