Who's that Girl?

2. The Legend

My manager did not want to release a concert DVD, because the last one was such an embarrassment. I told him that I wanted it released. Many of my fans had a bad experience during the concerts, so I felt that I needed to give them something back. I need to give them a memory that the show was a good one. I knew that the DVD would most likely be another embarrassment, but I always placed my fans first. I also understood that the record company wanted profits and things to be a success. My mind was made up. The memories on the Madam X tour would be sold on DVD.

I was still in control of my career!

I was happy when the evening came. Today was a hard day for me. It's never easy to hear that your last album did not do well. It is not easy that everyone notices your age.

The children came in to say goodnight. David asked me did I know Michael Jackson. I admitted that we actually dated a few times and went to an award show together. Micheal also wanted me to do a duet with me. The problem was that Micheal and I were very different. He was silent and always a gentleman, and childlike while I was.... well, a loud-mouthed bitch. Later it would be revealed that Micheal Jackson did not like me. He said that I was not a nice person. I do not know if this changed before he died. However, I think he was so talented and a genius that cared about the world we live in.

It was time to go to bed. I looked in the mirror again and sighed. My eyes looked so old. They looked lifeless and stretched to the limits. I wondered why I could not accept aging gracefully. Think of the energy I used on trying to keep young. The fact was that old age would end up winning and there was no way I could stay young. I knew this was a fact, but I refused to accept it.

That night I had a strange dream that made me wake up and stare in darkness. I died and could see the reaction after I died. The news exploded for a week and then died down again. It was not the coverage that Micheal Jackson had. I was old. People expected me to die soon. The record company released the greatest hits that did very well and they would do that in the future.

So why was this a nightmare? The truth is I wanted my death to be noticed. I wanted my music to be remembered. People like Elvis and Micheal Jackson were legends after their death and they affect every new generation. This is what I wanted. I wanted to be a legend and my music would be kept alive.

When I woke up, I was in another bad mood. I called the staff in my room and told them that my career was being destroyed. I shouted that I knew that the music industry could not accept a woman becoming old. However, there also have been bad decisions in the last few years. I told them that I could get better advice by reading my fans debate my career on the internet. I looked at them and asked them why I needed them?

My manager tried to cheer me up by saying that we had an invitation to sing at the big award show. I would be getting a lifetime achievement. This should have made me happy. However, lifetime awards were like an event where you looked back at a career. It was like saying there was no future. I accepted as it would give me attention in the newspaper and show people that I was not dead yet

Nothing much happened afterward. I worked on editing the Madam X DVD and spent some time with the young children. Two twins that are full of life.

That night was very quiet. No business, no parties, and the children were in bed. I drank one glass of wine after another. I will admit that I was very tipsy. I put rosebuds all over my bed and went on Instagram. I was not so sure what I said. I just opened my heart for everyone to hear and then fell asleep.

The next morning, I forgot all about Instagram. My publicist was the one that bought it to my attention. She said that it was not very well received. This confused me as I told her that I was just having an open session with my fans. I was letting them into my inner emotions and feelings. My publicist sighed and told me the common reaction was that I was an old pop star locked up in a mansion, that is totally out of contact with the normal person.