Two Pink Lines

chapter 5: insecure

"Posted!"

Joe kissed her cheek, "Now let's turn off the phone for today."

Taylor nodded, clicking the power button. She fell back into Joe's arms, snuggling into his chest. "I'm tired."

Joe rubbed her back, "Do you want to take a little nap before dinner?"

"Mhm," Taylor replied, her eyes closing.

"Okay, do you want me to carry you to the bedroom?" Joe asked softly, seeing she was already almost asleep.

"I'll stay on the couch," Taylor said, her voice quiet.

Joe nodded, letting her fall asleep in his arms. He continued to rub her back, occasionally lifting a hand to play with her small ponytail. Eventually he realized he had an issue. He had to get up to cook dinner, but with Taylor basically sitting on his lap, and her head on his chest, it made it nearly impossible to move without disturbing her sleep.

He tried to think of a way out, before deciding just to be as gentle as possible. He slid away slowly so she was laying more just on the couch, before grabbing a pillow so her head could rest on it. Smiling at his success he placed a small kiss on her forehead before grabbing a blanket and draping it over her.

And hour later Taylor was awake again, and Joe had made dinner. They were sitting at the dinner table, discussing their plans.

"Well I"m halfway there at 20 weeks," Taylor smiled slightly, "I can't wait for the little guy to come out."

Joe grinned, "I'm so proud of you."

Taylor blushed, taking another bite of the taco's Joe had prepared, "You've been really helpful."

Joe smiled softly, leaning across the table to press a tender kiss on her cheek. Taylor sighed happily, "I swear, these hormones make it so even a simple kiss on the cheek make me want you so badly.

Joe smirked, "You mean like this." He shifted his body to kiss her other cheek, letting his lips linger. Taylor closed her eyes, forgetting about the taco on her plate. "Joeeee," Taylor leaned into his kiss.

Chuckling, Joe leaned back away from her, turning back to his taco. "Wait one more kiss," Taylor complained.

"I'll give you all the kisses after dinner love," Joe was still eating his taco.

Taylor pouted, "Don't deprive a pregnant woman of her kisses."

Joe laughed, leaning forward again to place a final peck on her lips. Taylor was satisfied, and went back to munching on her taco. After they had finished dinner, Joe put the dishes in the dishwasher.

As Joe was sliding a plate into one of the racks Taylor came up behind him, hugging him. Joe turned around, smiling and kissing her on the forehead. "Hey darling," Joe wrapped his arms around her.

Suddenly Taylor gasped, "He's kicking."

Joe quickly put his hand on her stomach, feeling the small pounds. Taylor could feel it too, and their eyes met as they smiled. Taylor's eyes glassed over, tears daring to spill. Joe rested his head on top of hers, "I can't believe that we're having a kid."

"Neither can I, it's just so crazy," Taylor agreed, closing her eyes as she let Joe's arms encircle her again.

"He's really ours."
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Taylor turned to look at her reflection in the mirror. Her hand went over her stomach as she sighed, I'm only at 21 weeks, how do I get any bigger? Taylor sighed, her hand moving over to her boobs, which had seemed to grow 10 sizes bigger during the pregnancy.

Her mind started wandering, Joe and I haven't had sex for a week or so now. Does he not like how I look anymore? Am I not attractive to him anymore? It almost feels like he only gives me kisses when I ask for them... do I disgust him? Her thoughts spiraled, and before she knew it there was a tear slipping down cheek.

"Darling? Do you still want to watch that movie?" Joe called from the bottom of the stairs.

Taylor quickly wiped the tear away, "Coming!"

Pulling her shirt back down to cover her bump, she grabbed a sweatshirt from the closet to cover up what she could of her stomach before walking down the stairs to Joe.

"Hey love, what were you doing up there?" Joe asked, walking over to the couch to turn on the TV.

Taylor shrugged, "Just resting."

Joe nodded, turning on the movie. He motioned for her to sit down, "C'mere."

She cuddled into Joe's arms, trying to forget everything she had thought about before this. About half an hour into the movie Joe's phone buzzed, and he let go of Taylor momentarily to check his notification. When Joe put the phone back down his arms didn't return to Taylor, instead laying in his own lap.

Taylor bit her lip, was that just a ploy to not have to touch me? Does he really think I'm that gross? Stop it Taylor you can't blame him, you do look pretty gross right now.

After a few minutes of Joe still not getting close to her, she couldn't help but speak up, "Do I really disgust you that much?"

Joe turned towards her, confused, "What?"

"I mean it. Am I really that gross to you right now?" Taylor said, holding back tears.

"No! No of course not," Joe replied, scooting closer to her.

A tear slipped down Taylor's cheek, "Then why has it been so long since we've had sex? Why are you avoiding touching me right now. Am I not attractive to you right now?"

"Love, your always attractive to me. I swear I wasn't trying to avoid you." Joe pleaded, trying to prove his point by attempting to wrap an arm around her, but she avoided his embrace.

"Maybe you aren't making the conscious decision to try to avoid touching me, but unconsciously you are because you find me ugly," Taylor started crying harder.

Joe begged her to believe him, "I don't find you ugly and you should never say that again. I don't know what I can say to convince you, but I truly think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Even when you're pregnant. If anything it makes you prettier! I mean look at you, your stomach is adorable, especially when you know what it's holding. Your boobs are amazing, and your glowing! How could I not think your beautiful."

Taylor sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve, "Your just saying that to try to make me feel better, you don't actually mean it. We haven't had sex in forever!"

"The only reason is because I don't want to do anything without you wanting too! Since your pregnant I want to make sure your extra, extra comfortable with everything you do." Joe said, a disappointed tone in his voice.

Taylor was sobbing again, trying (and failing) to wipe away the tears as they poured down her face, "Stop making excuses. I just wish I didn't look like this. I wish you still found my attractive. And it's not going to be the same after the pregnancy. I'll still have leftover fat and I just don't know what I'll do-"

Taylor rambled on as Joe scooted closer to her, successfully pulling her onto his lap. "Shhh, darling. Try to relax, okay?"

Taylor continued to cry, ignoring Joe, "And I can't even lean over to tie my shoes. I can't do a single fucking thing anymore."

"Love, it's not good for the baby, remember?" Joe stroked her hair, "Your beautiful, always."

Taylor stopped talking, but continued to sob, soaking Joe's shirt. Joe continued to rub her back, whispering encouraging words in her ear. Eventually Taylor's tears slowed, and came to a complete stop.

She sniffled, "I'm such a mess."

Joe rubbed his thumb gently on her cheek, "I need you to know that no matter what, you will always be the most gorgeous woman on this planet to me. Always."

"Always?" Taylor asked, unsure.

"Always."

Sorry this is so short! Hopefully longer chapters to come.

- Livi❤️