This Is Paradise

Iris

Alysha's P.O.V

"No!" I screamed, jumping up out of bed. "What?! What happened?!" Vic yelled, shooting up beside me. I sat there with a horrified expression on my face. That dream was so real. I felt Vic's arms wrap around me and he pulled me into a tight hug. "T-the dream!" I cried into his chest. "Shh. Darling, it's okay." Vic whispered, kissing my head. I felt myself uncontrollably shaking in his arms, and the tears were streaming down my face. It was the same dream, except only I wasn't the one getting screamed at and cut. It was Vic. Which is ten billion times worse then me.

This fucking dream will be the death of me. I suddenly felt the itching sensation on my wrists. "Vic it hurts." I whimpered. He caught on quick and grabbed my wrists in his hands, rubbing his thumbs lightly over my scars. "Stay strong baby girl." He whispered, looking into my eyes. I screwed my eyes shut and nodded my head, trying to do anything but think of the urges. My mind was racing so bad it hurt. I was forced to open my eyes because the image of my dad hurting Vic kept making an appearance.

This was for sure way worse than last time. Vic pulled me on to his lap and began rocking back and forth. "Shhh, you're safe here with me." He cooed. What he doesn't understand is that he needs to be safe. I can't and won't let anyone touch Vic ever. Not as long as I'm here.

I couldn't calm down no matter how hard I tried. My breathing quickened and I broke free from Vic's grasp. I sat down on my knees and crouched over. "Vic, I c-can't breathe." I choked out, gripping the blanket in my fists. "Where's your anxiety pills?" Vic frantically asked, jumping off the bed. I pointed towards the bathroom and he quickly popped one pill out of the container. After grabbing a water bottle from the bed side table, he handed me the water and my pill. I laid it on my tongue and shakily brought the water up to my lips, swallowing the pill.

Vic took the bottle from me, and set it back down. "Deep breaths darling, you'll be okay." He whispered, rubbing his and up and down my back. I began to feel myself calm down, and I slowly sat up straight, giving myself time to catch my breath. "That bad?" Vic worridly asked, pulling me into his side. I nodded my head, and wiped the wet spots under my eyes. This was getting bad. It's been three days since Christmas, and they've been hitting me like a train. Vic has spent the last few days at my house, watching over me even though I insisted he go home. Even the guys think someone should be with me at all times. I felt myself slowly beginning to lose Alex as he was spending all his time with Tay. Which was probably adding more stress and causing more vivid dreams.

"Vic." I squeaked out. "Yeah?" He replied, seeming to be surprised that I spoke. "Why me? Why does every fucked up thing always happen to me?" I asked, looking up at him. "Honestly, I don't know. But I can promise you, we'll figure out. I'll be by your side every step of the way." Vic assured me. He kissed my temple before laying his head back down on the pillow, but his eyes stayed open. "Go back to sleep Vic." I told him. "Not until you do." He said, intertwining the fingers of our free hands.

But that's the thing. I'm not going back to sleep. I can't. I can't stand the see the look of pain and fear on Vic's face. And that's what I see everytime I close my eyes. "I'll go to bed right after you, I promise." I lied, just wanting him to get some rest. "No you won't. I've noticed the dark circles under your eyes and how weak you've been. You don't go to sleep very much anymore." Vic argued. Damn. I groaned and plopped my head back down on his chest. "I don't want you losing sleep over me." I admitted, playing with a loose thread on his tee shirt. "Babe, I'm not going to sleep until you do. It's not a problem to lose sleep to make you feel okay." He said. There was no way for me to change his mind, so I gave in.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine something happy. Or at least something better than what I just dreamt of. Vic traced circles on the skin of my stomach with his thumbs. I still get a shock when Vic touches me. It feels like electricity strikes through me, and when I'm with him I feel content and safe. After several minutes of failure, I finally drifted off to sleep.