<the lyrics sorta desrcibe how hisoka feels somewhat throughout the story .>
Hisoka, laid against the door once again. To meet with Illumi, the room was almost completely covered in violets and blood. Hisoka sighed, he was almost completely blind in his right eye. Flowers had grown all around it. He sighed. As he remembered the time Illumi and him learned nen. Hisoka had grown immune to beatings. This pain he was feeling. Was from his heart. Illumi always was one step behind him in nen. He would always giggle at the cute pouty face the younger boy would wear when hisoka would teach the same lessons he learned from a nen using circus performer.
He laid back letting sleep take over for awhile.
Hisoka smiled widley, though his arm had been broken due to a previous beating. He smiled happily as he had news to share with his friend Illumi. He had a teacher. Someone to teach him how to make the hurt go away whenever he was beat from his father. And to maybe even escape his father. That night he raced to the meadow and tackled illumi as he crossed the river. "LUMI!!!~♥️" the boy chirped excidedly. Illumi smiled up at him. "Hi! Hiso!" He responded pushing the older male off. "I brought some sandwiches. We can-" Illumi was cut off as Hisoka beamed in excitment. " never mind that ! I found a teacher to make me stronger!! Can you believe it?~♦️" hisoka said smiling with pride. Illumi tilted his head. "Oh? Alright. Did you learn anything today?" Illumi asked setting the food down. Hisoka smiled and nodded as he picked up the sandwich he was made. He smiled as he ate it thankfully. Illumi also ate some. The two boys then got up. And Hisoka began to explain and teach Illumi. What he learned. Which was nen. And since then. Hisoka would return everynight, less hurt than before. On his time alone he'd practice. When he was with Illumi. He'd spar and train teach Illumi. Along with getting normal school lessons from Illumi as well... they were the. Best of friends... nothing could seperate them.
That is.... until that day.
Hisoka arrived. Smiling brightly as he had mastered his chosen ability. Bunggee gum. He smiled as he raced over through the flower and firefly coated grass. "ILLUMI!! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT~♥️" he shouted happily. Only to see, Illumis face was... saddened. Almost empty. Illumi looked up at his friend. And gave him a hug. Tears streaming down the zoldyck childs face. "I-illumi? Wh-whats wrong?~♣️" hisoka asked nervous and scared. Illumi pulled away, wiping his tears. "I-i'm not allowed to be friends with you... good bye... Im sorry Hisoka... but. We are NOT friends." Illumi said. The zoldyck child turned around and left the bag full of food. Hisoka sat there. Hurt, alone, and broken. He started crying. "D-did I do something wrong?~♣️" he said to himself. Now talking to himself. He clenched his fists. Tears still streaming down his face. "A-am I... boring?~♣️" he once again spoke aloud. He looked at the wondrous tree and blanket spread out. Their box filled with food and toys inside the box, that had been stuffed into the hole underbrush of the tree roots. The messy backpack and spare clothes inside. Hisokas heart squeezed at the memories... the times they played and had fun together. He fell to his knees. He screamed though it was pointless. "I-i'm ALONE... again...~♠️" he whispered to himself. His eyes grew dull. He felt as if everything he had done. Didn't matter... his only want. Was to escape everyone. His 'father', this region, this pain, his ex friend, everything. He got up and took one last look at the tree....they carved their names into the tree... hisokas was in slightly crooked handwriting. While Illumis was almost perfect. They did this with both. Their needles. And cards. Hisoka felt it again. His heart squeezing. He hated it. This feeling of hurt. He felt it too often. And now. It got worse. Since then, he'd train, and endure the pain of his 'father' it only made him grow darker. He didn't care. He escaped. Killed his 'father' and left. Making it on his own... Illumi meanwhile. Also hurt. But was never allowed a minute to show it. Was forced to train. He soon forgotten about Hisoka. Abandoning him in the shadows of his memories.... until they met again. In the hunter exam.
That... is how their childhood friendship lived. Died. And grew back again. Almost like glue to shattered peices of broken glass.
Hisoka. Was jolted up by the sounds of knocking. He jumped, and groaned. His body was definitely frail. "Hisoka, its me... Illumi." Illumi said as dull as ususal. "Hmmm... alright. I know your voice by now Illumi~♦️" he giggled masking his hoarce voice. "Im sorry to do this Hisoka... but. Im comming in. Tommorrow. To check on you. I want to see your condition. Cause from the sounds of it. Your not okay." Illumi said emptily. Hisokas, visible left eye widened in fear. "N-no...no need to do that. I can garuntee you I'm perfectly fine~♦️" he giggled to mask his pain. "If thats true... why do you hide yourself from me. Me specifically... we... we are friends. Arent we?" Illumi responded emptily. Hisoka blushed from the lack of being able to come up with a useful lie. He sighed. Groaning as he got up. "Alright... I suppose... I'll see you then. Illu~♠️" he said as he coughed the violets up. The small flowers softly gliding to the ground. Hisoka stepped on it with disgust. "Your lucky you mean so much for me to suffer like this for you...Illumi~♠️" he whispered silently to himself.
<hey sorry for the late chapter. Ive been sorta distracted recently TwT dont attack meh pls. Anyways hope you enjoyed. Byyeeeee!!! Take care. Ill update soon. Lemme know thoughts in comments bellow! UwU>
