Hit List - Complete

We Are Still Changing

He keeps his hand wrapped around my throat but does not change his grip. I breath comes out in uneven pants, tears streaming down my face, waiting for him to end it all. But he doesn't - he just keeps his hand there.

Roza.

My eyes flutter open and are blurry with the tears that are gathering in them. There is no ice in his eyes now, and he looks down at me with uncertainty. He loosens his grip on my face and neck, and I sink to the floor with a whimper.

The floodgates open, and I shuffle away from him, sobbing uncontrollably and curling into myself, wrapping my arms around myself. I can feel Dimitri kneel in front of me, I suck in a shaky breath, not daring to look at him.

"Roza," he whispers, placing a hand on my arm and I flinch away from him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I whisper over and over, choking on my tears.

Rose. Look at me, please.

I gingerly raise my head to look at him, my lip trembling in fear. He raises a hand to my face slowly, and I flinch again when he caresses my cheek.

"I'm sorry," I whisper again. He frowns and wipes his thumb under my eye, catching the tears that stain my cheeks.

"I know. It's ok," he whispers, shuffling to wrap his arms around me. I press my face into his chest and close my eyes again, trying to calm myself down. He rocks us gently, shushing me and kissing the side of my head.

I can not only feel Dimitri around me physically but mentally. There is a hum in the back of my mind, like the bond with Lissa.

"What about the wolves?" he whispers. I pull up to look at him, wiping my face with my hands.

"What?"

"When I came back into the room, you were thinking about wolves. Why?" he says, moving to sit on the floor and pulls me into his lap. I rest my head against his chest, closing my eyes and breathing him in.

"My favourite subject at the academy was Animal Behavior. When an outsider or member of a pack attacks the Alpha and fails, the Alpha will kill them. I was just waiting for you to kill me," I whisper. He sits silently, running his hands over my arms and nuzzling my hair.

I pull myself out of his arms and drag myself to my feet unsteadily. He stands as well, taking a step closer to me, and I move away slightly, watching disappointment flash through his eyes. I don't want to fear him, but I'm terrified of what I feel instead.

You don't need to be scared of me. I am not going to hurt you.

"You can hear me?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Yes, I can feel you too. More than usual."

I nod and run my hands through my hair, letting out another deep breath. What is going on? Dimitri cautiously comes closer, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to him. Cupping my chin with tenderness and tilting my face up to his. He leans down and brushes his lips against mine.

"You are just as much of an Alpha as I am," he says, pressing kisses to my lips and running his thumb across my jaw.

I press my lips firmly against his, cupping his face in my hands and standing on my tiptoes to be closer to him.

"I'm sure Dominic thought you were going to kill me," I say, pulling away to breathe. Dimitri shakes his head and rests his forehead on mine.

"He does. He gave me this whole spiel about how you were trying to kill me and that he felt I should be the one to take you out for it. But the moment I felt your fear escalate and you started crying, I knew something was wrong. I can hear you pleading to me in my head and I pushed in, looking through your thoughts. I heard you tell me you love me," he says, caressing my neck with the back of his fingers.