It is the first week back to school. I roll over in my bed contemplating whether or not I want to go back to school. It is my senior. Everyone should be excited about that right? It is the last year of school. You never have to see these people again and what you thought was important is not. At 6:30 in the morning, the sky is a dark blue color, birds are heard flying over my grandmother's home. I am just thinking to myself about how this is going to play out. I let out a deep sigh wishing I had long enough hair to blow upwards. "Get up Levi," I said with a tickle in my throat hoping my brain will register it is time to get up for school. I lean forward and get up from the bed. I rampage through my closet trying to find something decent to wear. The first outfit of the year is like the first impression. I throw a band tee, a black and red flannel, and black skinny jeans onto my bed. I look at my phone to see only ten minutes have passed. "Ugh," I muttered throwing my phone onto the bed. I slowly walk in the bathroom to take a much need hot shower. I am standing in the shower thinking to myself. My friends, who I am going to have this year as a teacher, and what am I going to do after I graduate. All these thoughts slowly cluttered my mind where I forgot to turn the hot water down. "Ouch!" I yelled feeling like I have a third-degree burn on my arm. I wash my hair for the next five minutes before hopping out the shower to brush my teeth.I'm getting dressed. I don't know why I was surprised that the shirt and the pants were loose-fitting. Thinking these clothes fit me tightly but instead, they are baggy. I am just a 17-year-old, black boy and only 110 lbs. I am little. Why did I think these shirts being a size large were fitting me right? I start lacing my converse. I do not want to go back to school. Last year, I got into the whole argument with my best friend. I had almost three best friends breakups last year. I do not want another one. While on the topic, I don't have friends except for only two of them. The majority of my friends do not hit me up, I did not hang out with any of my so-called friends for the last three summers. High school is supposed to be the year for finding your new friends. Life long buddies, right? I'm only 17. Why do I feel the need to beat myself up with these unrealistic expectations? This isn't a high school musical. This is real life. "I don't think my friends are friends." When I look at the zero notifications on my phone, it triggers a light bulb in my head. "Maybe it is best to slowly break away from my friend group." But how? How do I break free from a group of friends that truly don't give fuck about me?
On the bus ride to school, I am very much to myself. Everyone is either sleepy or just straight grumpy. I am not trying to associate with anyone. Someone from my friend group recently moved. I did not have anyone on my bus I knew besides a toxic couple that I chose not to associate myself with. Where is the high school musical senior year vibes at? I put my earbuds in, turn up my music, and curled up against the seat. I am watching the trees run pass the bus before we pulled up near the double doors on the side of the building. I am always the last person to get off the bus in the morning. I just have not been feeling school. I have not been feeling seeing anyone. I was just not in the mood. I finally found the courage to get up and step off the bus. There is one kid on our bus. He was heavyset, white and look like a 2012 scene kid. He was very loud and obnoxious. I found myself walking behind him into the school. I was not paying too much attention because I was looking for my so-called friends but no one was in their typical spot. Why did no one tell me they were not going to be here today? I look over to my left next to the band door. The same guy from earlier was picking on this boy that was wearing a Harry Potter shirt. My sleeves were rolled up, my head was replaying thoughts from earlier. 'These are not your friends. They are not your friends. See how they not telling you shit.' The voices in my head told me repeatedly. So, instead of trying to find my so-called friends, I decided to walk with someone who I typically do not hang out with to check on the boy with the Harry Potter shirt.
I was never a huge Harry Potter fan so I was unsure if it was a Harry Potter shirt. 'What did that guy say to you." This girl asked with red hair said with her arms crossed. I felt like I was in one of those romantic movies. You know where the hot guy walks into the frame, you are speechless, you're stumbling over words. I am trying to catch himself from staring at him. I did not even say one word to this boy but yet my stomach filled with butterflies. My mind went blank. My worries about my friend have fled the scene. He was just a regular white guy, nicely groomed brunette hair, and cute. I didn't say much at all. The first thing that came to my mind was. "Is that a Harry Potter shirt?" I asked. 'Really?' The voices in my head said as if I have the devil on one side and the angel on the other. 'That is a stupid question. We already know the answer to that.' Realizing that a stupid question I kind riled back a bit. "Yeah, it is." He answered with a chuckle. Maybe I didn't fuck this up. He didn't think it was weird of me to ask that question. Is this normal in romance novels and movies? They asked silly questions and the boy chuckles. What if he chuckled because he thought I was stupid and found it funny. I didn't know what to think at that moment but I knew from that point and further I kind of like him. Why did I like him? Was it because he was cute? This is my first interaction with this guy and I already like him. Is that even realistic? I need to calm down a little bit. I am being overdramatic.
'Don't be overdramatic.' I said to myself all day but of course that evening I texted one of my friends telling her everything. I did like this guy I just met and I truly did not know why. Was it destiny, was it a coincidence? Do I truly want to try another relationship with another guy after what happened last year? I mean fuck it right? My friend's text read, "Zack? Blonde? Cute? Adorable? Gay?" My heart dropped a bit knowing that he was gay. A lot of people are not open about being gay at our high school. It took me by surprise. My hand were sweaty, my face felt hot. I should be looking like a tomato. Unfortunately, this friend did not have his contact information but I got his last name. The only person I could think of to hit up was my friend. My sister. I messaged her telling her everything about this guy and I wanted more information on him. My sister and I did our Facebook research like we are FBI agents. I had to do my background checks on these guys especially since the last one I was with was trash. Hot garbage summer with that dude. My sister messaged me saying did you know his ex went to jail. I rolled my eyes at my phone. Was I going head over heels for some drug addict dude that has a troubled past? I let these thoughts run their storm in my mind before making a decision. I speak to my sister all night about the situation before deciding I will talk to him tomorrow myself. Oh my gosh. Those words did not just come out of my mouth. I was wanting to approach someone I was interested in. Can I do this? Can I approach someone I like? My heart sunk to my butt. I feel my heart racing like it was sticking out in those popular 80's cartoons. At this moment, I made up my mind on how I was going to approach him but instead I got a whole different scenario when I got to school.
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Not Your Typical Love Story
RomanceEveryone has their typical love story. We all love reading our unrealistic love stories about the perfect couple. The relationship everyone wants. What if I told you it is not all sunshine and rainbows like the books make it seems. There is a beginn...