New World | SOOKAI

Chapter 2

I arrived at my house, pushing my key into the lock and giving my door a gentle push, it opened with a small creak as I walked through. I placed my keys upon the small table near the door, shedding myself of my jacket and hung it up on the hook above the table, glad to be rid of it and its foul scent. There was no point in washing it. I wouldn't be wearing it again.

I slowly made my way down the hallway that branched off into my small kitchen and dining area. I still hadn't gotten used to how empty my house was. It was barren, except for the mostly essential items I.. once needed. When she had left me before her death, she took most of her belongings with her. I didn't own many material items, except for instruments. I didn't feel the need to decorate my house as beautifully as she once had with her possessions. Freshly cut flowers always used to sit upon the middle of my small, round dining table in a crystal vase, now a sizable pile of unpaid bills in its place.

I eyed up my pantry door but thought it was still too early to make dinner for myself, not that I even had an appetite. My mind and my body almost seemed to agree with each other, they both were aware that I was shutting down. I had seen it happen once before with the family dog I had with my adoptive family. He just lay down one day, refusing to eat or drink and passed within hours. He just knew it was his time, like I knew it was mine.

I made my way upstairs and approached the bathroom, entering it to come face to face with my own reflection upon the small mirrored cupboard above the sink. I deliberately avoided looking myself in the eye and I pulled it open to see the bottles of medication that sat upon the tiny shelves. I reached for one of them, slowly turning it in my hand to see the date upon it. It had been expired for almost 2 years. I placed it upon the edge of the sink and drew another bottle from the inside, reading the small white label that read Benzodiazepines. My doctor had put me on them not long after my ex had died to help me sleep through the insomnia that I developed. I felt the weight of the bottle in my hand, it seemed like it was almost full from how heavy it was. I hadn't ingested them for very long, they caused me muscle weakness and memory loss and would often cause a deep drowsiness that made me sleep through my morning alarm. A side effect my boss wasn't particularly impressed with.

I placed the other bottle back inside the cupboard and walked away with my 2nd choice. I headed back downstairs to the hallway and entered into my living area, just as barren as the other rooms were. A small, two seater couch against the far west wall and an electric piano on a stand where my TV used to be before I sold it on the opposite side of the room. I approached the couch and sank down into the dark blue material of it, looking down at the white plastic bottle in my hands, slowly turning it over and over as I began to think about what would happen. I didn't know what death felt like, especially by drug overdose. Would it be painful? Would I suffer for long before I died? Or would I just fall asleep peacefully, never to awaken again?

I slowly began to open the cap, pressing it down firmly and turning it to bypass the child safety lock on it. I looked down into the opening and saw at least 60 or so little baby blue pills staring back up at me. Would taking the whole bottle be overkill? I usually only had to take 1 a day when I used them. I was about to tip the bottle upside down into my other hand until I felt my back pocket buzz rhythmically in my jeans. I sighed and tried to ignore it. It was probably just my boss calling me to nag about something I had done wrong, but that almost didn't make sense. My boss usually liked to reserve the pleasure of complaining to me in person. It wasn't like him to call me, actually.

I reached behind myself and drew my phone out of my pocket and looked down at the glowing screen in my hands.

The Black Swan

I suddenly remembered I had put down my name to play there that night almost 2 weeks ago. I decided to answer it to inform them I wouldn't be attending anymore. I pressed the accept call button and held it up to my ear.