New World | SOOKAI

Chapter 4

I slowly peaked my weary eyes open at the sound of the midi alarm noises coming from my phone next to me on my bedside table. I groaned and rolled over as I blindly batted at it to make it stop, it did and then fell to the floor with a small thump as I knocked it off. It was 7am, Sunday, and I felt wildly unprepared for almost everything that day could throw at me already.

The previous night came flooding back into the stillness of my bedroom. I expected myself to feel weary and defeated like I often had back then. But my head was emptier, it felt lighter on my shoulders; no longer filled with the consuming dread that slowly took it over day by day for those months prior.

But I didn't manage to get much sleep. After I had tidied up my bathroom from the emotional and physical mess I had made, I laid upon my bed and just stared into nothingness. My insomnia had snuck back up on me, but there was no possible way I would take one of those pills again to try and fix it, especially since I had now tipped them all down my sink. Sleep was barely an option, not when all I could think about was him. That man who had abruptly interrupted my life.. and my death. In the dark quietness of my room that previous night I had contemplated all thoughts beyond reason. A puzzle that I was trying to put together, even though I didn't know what the big picture was meant to resemble as a finished product; an enigma. I tried to reach back into my fragmented memories to recall if I had seen him at The Black Swan before and I couldn't recognize his face. With the distinct features that he had, he would have surely stood out to me before. Just where did he come from? And why then? Why, of all the nights that he could have possibly crossed my path, did it have to be mere minutes before my own attempted demise? Was this what people called 'destiny'? The start of my very own, far fetched fairy tale? He was a knight, not in shining armour, but black velvet.

The thought of the soft material made me look over to a small chair in the corner of my room, several plush toys that I had kept from my childhood sat upon it, staring at me in the still darkness of the Autumn morning. My eyes traced over the form of my favourite. A rabbit, white and round like a fat bean of sorts. Two small ears stood upright upon its head with dotted eyes on its face, a blush upon its pale cheeks and a small, curved mouth to resemble a smile. The shape of it almost reminded me of his lips, a natural curvature to their edges and corners, like he was always somewhat smiling, even when he wasn't.

I rolled away and felt my cheeks become warm from the notion. I didn't want to get carried away with those thoughts, in particular. I didn't know him well enough or if I trusted those feelings to even be real yet. But I did know that I owed him what I had tentatively promised to him. Another performance. The thought of putting together something made my blood rush in excitement. No one had ever personally requested me to play for them. The many songs that then circled my head were interrupted with my stomach groaning at me from how empty it was. I didn't have dinner the previous evening and my lunch had obviously disagreed with me rather violently from the attempt at my own life.

My whole body ached from my fatigue as I sat up onto the edge of my bed, rubbing at my stomach through my t-shirt. I forced my body up and made my way downstairs to make myself some breakfast. I was thankful that my appetite had returned.

"Omelette time!" I smiled happily to myself at the thought of the egg dish that I was an expert at making, given how often I made it.

I left my house for the day about an hour later, making my way to work in the cool morning air by foot. It was mornings like that one that I so desperately missed my car that I sold, but I didn't mind the light exercise. I pushed myself through the glass door of the music shop, the small bell above it ringing with my entrance. My boss sat behind the counter with his laptop open, his eyes squinted in concentration at something upon his screen. His gaze didn't break away from it as he acknowledged my arrival.