heather and i were still on the sidewalk, walking toward harlow, when she asked me.
you wanna come with me and harlow ?
i fought to keep the disbelief out of my expression. come where ?
she shrugged, smiling. we're going to the boardwalk to study. because, you know, finals are coming up, and, well . . . she laughed, a warm, bubbly sound. i probably haven't been studying as much as i should be.
i watched her blankly for a moment, wondering if she was messing with me, but her eyes remained bright as ever. she was truly, genuinely asking me if i wanted to third wheel with her and harlow.
i mustered a smile. actually, i was just on my way home. my sister's waiting for me.
heather nodded. your twin, right ? caysie ?
uh . . . yeah, i said slowly. how the hell did she know ?
the question must have been written all over my face, because heather gave another bubbly laugh. i'm not a stalker, i swear. caysie's in my physics class, and you both look really similar. she glanced up ; we'd nearly reached harlow, whose back was to us – thank god.
i needed to leave before he heard us.
listen, i really appreciate what you did, i said to heather. you know . . . saving me from that car.
well, of course ! she grinned. did you actually think i was about to stand there and let you get hit ? she playfully nudged my shoulder, her gray eyes shining. i think i like you, corlan – we should hang out sometime.
there was nothing romantic in the statement ; it was clearly a platonic comment, but it still felt like i'd been kicked in the chest. we should hang out sometime – like i wasn't harlow's ex, like we'd only just met, like we had no history at all.
and that was the most painful thing, i thought. i wanted to like heather, i really truly did ; if we were in a different world, we might have been the closest of friends, but we weren't. i wanted to like her, but i couldn't.
i wish i could like you, heather harlan, i wanted to tell her as i moved out of sight, watching her expression brighten as harlow turned to see her, watching them walk by, watching her walk by. you did nothing wrong, you're perfect, and hell, i wish i could like you. but i can't.
i never can.