caysie.
caysie looked up from where she'd been sitting on her bed, staring out the window, uncharacteristically quiet. ever since our falling-out, she'd been uncharacteristically quiet.
i swallowed, moving to sit on the bed beside her. caysie, i said again, my voice quiet. i'm so sorry.
she didn't meet my gaze.
i'm so sorry for everything, i went on, hoping she was listening to my words, even if i didn't deserve it. i didn't deserve her. i'm so sorry for scaring you, for being such a dickhead.
she didn't speak for a long time.
finally, she took a shuddering breath. you really scared me, corlan. she turned to me, her brown eyes filled with tears. shit, i thought i was going to lose you, really, truly lose you. and over what ? she shook her head. that's what i kept asking myself. over what ? a boy who didn't love you back ?
i could only stare at her, a lump in my throat, as she kept speaking.
and no matter what i said, what i did, i couldn't bring you back. i couldn't make you see that you didn't need him – didn't need harlow. you're perfect on your own. and the fact that i couldn't get you to understand that . . . she released a choked sob, turned away from me again. i felt like the worst sister in the goddamned world.
caysie – i grabbed her arm. jesus, caysie. no – no, you're the best sister – the best sister. i'm the one who's at fault here, okay ? you can't blame yourself for this. there's nothing to blame yourself for. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry for making you feel this way, and i'm not asking you to forgive me – i don't deserve that. but, caysie, i hope . . . i hope you can at least accept my apology.
she was quiet for a long time.
finally, she looked back up at me ; she didn't smile, but there was some light back in her warm eyes as she spoke. i'll forgive you, she said, as soon as you write the lyrics to that song you're always playing on your guitar.
i gave a choked laugh, a sense of strangely beautiful relief settling over me, making it easier for me to breathe.
i'll do my best.
