S T A L K E R

1

UNEDITED
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"Does the feeling of anger extend beyond that Greyson?"I couldn't tell if it was a familial anger or something I've kept deep rooted behind my own insecurities. There was a fault to my bravery, even now as I sat in front of Doctor Grant . He tried his best to look professional but I knew everything I said troubled him to an extent.

Was he willing to bypass his own oath to rehabilitate and protect by releasing a mentally unstable man back into society? If the right price was presented- albeit twelve million dollars, then yes, yes he was.

"I don't know, In those first few minutes it became hard to register the fact that my fiancé of four years- the woman I made and maintained, decided to betray me by sleeping with that man." It stung to know that even when I provided her with every known luxury she still chose to spread 'em' wide to the salt and pepper bastard. I didn't have a choice. I was already too far gone and the damage was irreversible.

He told me to do it.

     I tried to resist but they kept egging me on. The loud moans I could've never heard from her billowed off the walls in heavy waves. A smile I've seen her fake dozens of times around him was erased for a look of deep  contentment. The bitch I took out of the slums who owed me her life decided she was better off with a "recovering" drug mule. I was pissed. I wanted their screams of torment to reflect the hurt I felt in my heart. I wanted the metallic smell of their blood staining the walls to tune out the tears that threatened to spill.

    For years I tried being everything he would be proud of but even in my state of disarray it was clear he wanted the life he couldn't achieve through the unending supply of wealth his father stored for him. He wanted me to suffer the way he did and I had.

"I know you feel some form of detachment to him which is why you aren't claiming
"the man" as your father but Greyson, this is how we move past the pain. We have to acknowledge it." I agree. The longer I deprived myself of this closure the longer it took to heal. I wanted to wipe the slate clean after all these years of resentment. Even in death he wouldn't maintain his iron clad hold over me and what remained of my life.

" I see, my father did everything in his power to ruin my life achievements in some way. I had to move out at eighteen if I didn't follow his steps- which I did until it became clear that the out I desired was unachievable without his funding. I stayed with him in the mansion he continuously hung over me  and became his assistant. It was a lowly job, he didn't even pay me for the first two years because his courtesy of 'extending a roof over my head' was enough payment. As soon as I got a transfer to another branch of Tao-Industries I started to earn little by little and then I moved out and got an apartment, I stayed there for three years unbothered by him." the heavy sigh came sooner than expected because even in my story I knew within my heart this part has a toll on me.

" I met Francesca one night when she was using. I ended up relapsing  and uhh- when the realization that she was more dependent on me because I could give her everything struck, I  kept her around. At that point in time I could've managed my weight in drugs but I just needed something to take care of-"

"Pardon my interruption Greyson, don't you think the love you described earlier is flawed; now as you openly denounce you relationship with Francesca as you "needing something to take care of" Was she just property to you or is this the only affection  you were exposed to in the early years?" Contrary to what he was alluding to I had a loving childhood. Though not outwardly expressed I had one. Food, Shelter and clothing were my tokens of affection. That family bonding we only had during the major holidays for company pictures where I'd get that pat on the back from him were cherished moments. Maybe even the kiss on the cheek from Elaine when she didn't have her hand stuck in her purse fishing out whatever pill she could find.