S T A L K E R

3

"I-it's you" my steps falter at the voice. I try to convince myself it isn't who I think it is but I know better. Her manicured hand grips my wrist and pulls me into the break room. I stare wearily at her, I can't talk. I'm embarrassed and flustered but I can't help myself from becoming angry.

"What do you want Sam?" I whisper yell hoping to God no one notices us. Her wide doe eyes meet mine. I break contact and look at her curly hair that's pinned into a bun, it frames her oval face with its loose tendrils. Her clear copper skin glows and I notice that she's twiddling her thumbs as she observes me with some level of remorse. My eyes gravitate to her breasts that are straining against the fabric of her buttoned dress. I can't tear my gaze away from them. What the hell is she wearing? She looks like a damn-

     She mistakes it for attraction, her lips connect with mine and I don't hesitate to move my lips against hers. She squeezes my breast through my blazer and her other hand finds itself rubbing my leg until it settles on my pussy. I grind into her hand and trail my lips down her neck. The scent of her perfume is complete euphoria. This is wrong- extremely wrong; but all so satisfying. I'm grunting, chasing the impending release as her pace quickens. She bypasses my zip and runs her hand down my sopping pussy. My head is tossed back. Two fingers push into me. I come apart as she runs her fingers over the piece of flesh that makes me quiver in her hands. I damn near scream out my release in  her neck as I pulse in her hand.

Sweaty and out of breath from my suppressed moans I push her off me. She gazes at me with smudged red lipstick, her brown eyes make me feel the hurt she's experiencing. They're always so expressive, I can read whatever she's feeling but I know it's the same for me. She knows I don't want this to continue but I also have no control over my pull to her.

"Stop!" I yell as she comes closer to me. My hands shakily pull up my zipper and fix my out of place shirt. She doesn't stop, in fact, she comes closer. Her sticky fingers draw to her lips and she sucks them one by one never breaking eye contact. I feel so dirty. So disgusting when I think of what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with.

"I'm not gay! Stop touching me" I snarl at her. she jumps at the tone of voice I use. I'm not gay, I don't like women. I don't find them attractive.

"God" I grip my head frustratedly. What is she doing to me? Why is she doing this to me? She knows my beliefs and what it means to me but she always does this. My body belongs to her. I sigh in  defeat- It's a painful thought. I could never give her what she wants because it wasn't how I was raised- this wasn't what I grew up with.

"Oh stop with the lying Zaeli!, you're not gay but you don't have a problem with me fucking you in the break room? You kiss me when I kiss you and you always tell me you love me! Stop playing with me" her eyes gather tears.

"As a friend!" I blinking rapidly not wanting to have a breakdown. What'd she think I loved her or something! We were just fooling around.

"What?" She stares at me disbelievingly. It's time she smelled the roses, I don't think of her the same way she does me.

"I tell you I love you as a friend Sam, that's what you are, a friend, I don't see you as more than that and I'm not gay. Do this again and I'm filing charges." I don't give her a second to respond as I storm out of the room. No one is out here which leads me to believe some of them were downstairs during the spectacle and haven't taken the elevator up yet.

    I can't believe Sam. I'm not playing with her feelings . She has no right to keep ignoring my demands and fooling herself that it's more than a mistake. She's a woman and so am I; it would never work.

    I can't break the truth to myself. I go with it because I desire the pleasure, the pleasure I was denied  on my own volition. It's because she's a woman, I haven't been able to touch a man let alone sleep with one. I don't trust them but I trust her because I know her. I know she wouldn't hurt me and I also know she desires something I can never bring myself to do.