[DISCONTINUED] No Longer With You | Finnick Odair

8- peeta?

FINNICK'S POV
- District Thirteen -

The two weeks in District Thirteen have drawn out and I've barely left the hospital.

I've been depleted of all energy, finding it difficult to leave this room or even this area of Thirteen for that matter. I just don't want to face anyone.

I don't want them to see how sunken in my face is or how the glow in my eyes has extinguished. I look nothing of who I used to be. The colour in my face and the muscle of my body has all but disappeared. Doctors and nurses have to shove food down my throat just so I can eat.

I used to be so self-reliant but ever since losing Aria to the arena I can't even take care of myself. My remaining energy has been directed to mourning as opposed to self-preservation. Sleep flees me whenever the main lights shut off in the hospital ward. I need to be sedated just so I can sleep or else I refuse to do so willingly. All I'm able to physically do is tie knots with my rope.

Over and over and over. Over and over like the constant cycle in my head—the constant cycle of helplessly and worthlessly hoping Aria will return to my arms.

I wear no emotion on my face anymore—it's as blank as a whiteboard. I don't speak to anyone unless I know them. But even then I barely say more than a few words at a time. Even then I struggle to keep myself together. I no longer wear the captivating smirk on my face that sent the women fainting and swooning. At this point I believe I don't even know how to smirk or smile anymore.

I've somewhat accepted that Aria is dead but that doesn't stop the wishing for her to be alive.

My dark chamber of thoughts is broken into when the hospital room door opens; I don't bother raising my head to see who it is. Instead I continue fumbling with the rope in my shaky hands.

"Finnick?"

I find the energy to look up despite my head feeling like it weighs that of a boulder. Katniss' mother stands in the doorway and watches me carefully and hopefully.

Is it time for food? Is it lunch? I don't even know because I just don't care anymore. Why should I?

"Katniss wants you to join her and Gale for lunch in the cafeteria," Mrs Everdeen informs me softly and optimistically. I stare at her with a vacant expression and barely register what she just said. I just nod without even knowing what I'm doing.

"Good." She smiles with relief. "Here is District Thirteen's uniform that you're required to wear."

Mrs Everdeen places a bland, grey uniform on my bed before patting my shoulder and walking out, closing the door behind her. At least it matches the dullness of my expression.

I glance at the clothes unconsciously before picking them up in my shaking palm. After a few agonising and surprisingly frustrating minutes, I somehow manage to dress in the grey outfit.

I stumble out of my room like a zombie, practically tripping over myself due to not using my legs a lot lately. My lack of coordination is as clear as day. To think I was able to use a trident so flawlessly honestly amazes me.

Mrs Everdeen kindly leads me to the cafeteria which I've never been to before. To be fair I haven't wanted to go exploring this place whatsoever for obvious reasons. At least I have something else to look at than those boring hospital walls.

As I follow Katniss' mother, people glance my way and appear taken aback at my sudden appearance in their District. Even in a Thirteen, which I thought was destroyed, people still know who I am and what I stand for. I pay no mind to them though because personally all I want to do is sit in my hospital room and continue tying knots—over and over.