Now I see |H.S.| ON HOLD

Chapter 3

I look out the window of the passenger seat. Letting the top of my head slowly rest against the window. I'm look at the sky. The beautiful night sky bright from the sparkling stars. My dad is driving me to the airport. Because this flight is going to change my life completely.

The child part of me doesn't want to go and stay with my dad. But the grown up part of me knows. Knows that if I don't let go now. I wont ever. It's not like I'm leaving forever. It's temporary. Everything is temporary. Like the pain I had from my mom's accident.

Luckily Oxford doesn't start school till September 21. It is now September 15. Tomorrow will be the day of orientation so I will arrive by the morning to make it. As I look to my father still driving to Colorado Plains Regional Airport, I still see pain in his eyes. I had a little time to settle. A month wasn't long enough for me to adjust but it was suitable for me to finally accept that my mother is gone.

Some nights I would experience nightmares that felt so real. Then some nights I don't sleep at all. I just lay in my bed and look at my ceiling. Lately when I have trouble sleeping I would go to the old park and sit on the bench. But not just sit on the bench and stare. That's just creepy. I would sit and write. I would write in my journal.

I recently just started because before I was pretty happy. I would always laugh and smile but now. I can't remember the last time me and my dad has had a decent laugh. We would just have serious talk like about my studies, how me and Jo won't talk anymore, and my mom's funeral.

Two weeks after the accident my father and I flew out to New York for 5 days. There was my mom's funeral. I had my last goodbyes. I had to write and give a eulogy about my mother. But I wasn't stable enough that day. My dad took my paper and read it for me. I wrote the eulogy into my journal so I would be able to have two copies.

Eulogy:

There is more than a million stars in the sky.

The stars would no be there if it wasn't for the night sky.

The night sky holds the stars as my mother used to hold me.

The night sky created the stars just as my mother Created me.

When your night sky is gone, So are the stars.

The night sky is gone when the light sky shows.

Although the Night sky may be gone. The stars are still there.

Perhaps just one star. The sun.

My mom was the sky and I was the sun. But once my light sky left.

I couldn't find that sun.

But it will always still be there.

-Valentina A.

As I think over the eulogy in my head the car soon comes to stop. This is it. I look to my dad with a comforting smile know both of us want to drive back home. "So this is it baby girl." He speaks with his hands not leaving the wheel. He turn the engine off as we both exit the car. I grab my carry on from the backseat and one of my luggage.

My father goes to the trunk of the car and he retrieves my other two luggage. "It's not to late for you to turn back now." My father says closing the trunk. A small giggle slips out. I haven't smiled this much sense August. "If I turn back now what will I prove to myself?" I say grabbing a cart to place my bags in. "That's my smart girl." My dad says giving me a hug. My face being mushed into his big hard chest.

"You promise to call every day and if not every day than every other day?" My father says finally releasing. "Yes dad. I will. And I will come back for holidays and birthdays." I say making him feel more comfortable about the situation.