Strung

This Place Is Okay... I guess

A new school... I'm not sure if I'll be fine here. High school is only four years, correct? What will happen within that span of four years? I pressed my face against the window and sighed. Dad stopped the limousine and nudged my arm as he rolled the window down, taking my face with it. "Kiddo, I'm not mad at you. I'm very very proud. You stood up for yourself." Yeah for like the 5th time. Apparently, that 5th time got me in trouble. I rubbed my arms and fixed my bandages. I have this really bad anxiety tic. I break down, twitch and start clawing at my wrist until they bleed or til somebody can calm me down. I don't do it intentionally, it just happens. I didn't feel like talking. My throat is a little sore and I sound like a guy. Not that I'm complaining. It's the rasp that's getting to me.

1:00 pm

Bullworth is my 6th chance. If I mess up here, Harvard won't be for me anymore and I'll be shown in one of those television shows for misbehaving kids that experience prison life...

How the hell did I get sent here?

I got into a fight with a group of boys, who couldn't keep their curiosity to themselves, then someone decided that I'm the problem and that I should be kicked from protecting myself. Copy Paste that 5 more times and what do you have?

Going around the school and using the pronouns they/them can make everyone want to be a scientist or a biologist. I'm sick of getting groped and called a tranny. Can't people understand those simple things? I yawned. "Mom is. She's always been and always will be." When I came out of the womb I was expected to be a boy, to keep the record and the tradition up.

10 kids... 9 boys and 1 girl. Dad said I came with a twin who was also a girl. Then, Mom says I was a failed abortion... I don't care anymore. Is that where my twin went? I hope she knows that hook spared her 14 years of suffering.

"What does it matter to her? She doesn't know how you feel. You don't need to be down about that." He's right. Mom's notions about me shouldn't fuck me up, worst then they already have. "How's Miles doing, Timothy?" My older brother who I forgot existed, asked me. I have a pet snail in a jar. I named him Miles. He's faster than expected to be. "Miles is currently sleeping right now." I have been feeding him cucumbers and whatever bit of greenery that he can digest. Miles is kinda of a comfort pet. Snails are kind of a comforting animal to me. They are lazy and they are belittled for they're lack of speed, but they move pretty fast. "That's great to hear. I just needed to know about my nephew before he has to leave." Marcus cried. I took Miles out of my backpack and handed him to Marcus to say goodbye. "I'll miss you little nephew!" I shushed him. "Quiet or you'll wake him." He handed the jar back. "Anyway, back to our talk." Dad started.

"I'm just not comfortable with my body anymore. I don't know if I should call myself bi-gender, nonbinary, or genderfluid." I'm one of them. I might be. The pronouns they/them seem better for me than forcing on him/he or her/she. I know that I'm a girl but I don't feel like it! Is this what confusion is?

"I believe that one day you will feel better about your real self. Self development takes a time, so don't rush and don't care what other people think." He stopped the limo and popped the trunk. I'm at my stop. "Alright..I-I love you dad. Tell the others I love them too. A-and be careful." He kissed me on the cheek and I got my stuff and left. It hasn't even been that long and I'm already feeling self-conscious about my clothes.

1:05 — 1:20 pm

I had on my grey sweater knitted sweater, with a dress shirt underneath, black pants and black boots. These are apart of my old uniform. In Sarai, I had to switch my clothes. Our school colors are orange and black. If you've been kicked or suspended from the school, you switch your clothes with grey. Grey pants, grey shoes, grey everything. It's like being an outcast.