Addiction. (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter Thirty Five.

"My dad walked away from our family when I was 2. I never knew him when I was growing up. All I knew was that his name is Pat and my brother kept telling me that he was a nice man, but had some things he needed to sort out. He'd be back soon. But that wasn't the case. He's around now yes, but that's only been within the last 18 months or so."

Harry nodded his head, signalling that he was following and for me to keep going.

"When I was 6 mum got a boyfriend, his name was Jay and they fell inlove super quick. They married within a year and it was all so amazing. I got to see my mum be all happy and beautiful in a wedding dress. I danced with my brother, my feet on his as he guided me around the room."

I could feel myself smiling at the memory of that night. It was a brilliant night, I must admit.

"Jay was lovely at first, took me and Ryan to the shops and the park. Dropped Ryan off at all his football games and a few parties here and there. But then Ryan got into some trouble with some boys and I woke up one day to find that mum and Jay had sent him off to a boarding school for misbehaved boys. It broke my heart, I couldn't understand why they'd take such a drastic action over one little fight but I later learned that it was all Jay's idea. A way to get me and mum on our own I guess. He had to be the only man in the house. The fighting was just the perfect excuse for him to manipulate mum into letting him ship Ryan off."

Suddenly my breath had got caught in my throat and I had to take a second to just breath and stay calm.

The worst is yet to come.

"On my 7th birthday mum and Jay threw me a party, I had a bouncy castle in the garden and all my friends came round to play and we had cake and all sorts of good party games. At night, Mum tucked me in but Jay decided to stay with me a little longer and read to me. When mum left he walked around my room, pretending to look around for a book. He asked me if I had enjoyed the birthday party he organised for me. He asked if I loved him. Thinking he meant in a fatherly way, I said yes. He was the only dad I knew and up until that day he had been a brilliant dad."

"But then everything changed. He came and sat on the corner of my bed. A sickly smile crept into his face, a look I could never forget. He gave me kiss, at first just on my cheek. Then the other cheek. Then my lips. He lingered too long but I took no notice of it. Then he leaned in and kissed my lips again, this time he pushed his tongue into my mouth. As a seven year old child I didn't understand what this meant. I'd seen him kiss mum that way and so I didn't complain, my seven year old brain thought that maybe this was the right way to kiss every lady? If only I had known, maybe it could've stopped me from enduring what was to come next."

"His hand reached under my covers and grabbed my leg. His grip was too tight and painful. I told him he was hurting me but he simply told me to shut that dirty little mouth. He found his way into my Bratz pyjama bottoms and stuck his fingers in places that should never be touched as a little girl. I cried in pain but he just covered my mouth. When he was done with me, he slapped me hard across the face and told me if I tell anyone then next time it'll be 10 times more painful"

A tear escaped my eye and Harry's free hand instantly flew up to wipe it away. I stared into his eyes, silently asking if he really wanted me to continue. The sorrow filled eyes told me to go on.

"I kept quiet. I was only 7, I'd never had a dad and I didn't really know what was acceptable and what wasn't. All I really knew was that what he'd done hurt, and I didn't want it to hurt more. So I kept my mouth shut. It was about 2 maybe 3 months until he did anything again. He'd just tuck me into bed as normal but when mum left he'd kiss me like he did on my birthday. But nothing more. Then after a while he must have got sick of kisses because he was taking to the park when he did it again. We didn't actually go to the park but that's what he told mum. We went to that alleyway, the one me and you were in before.. That's I broke down and made a complete fool of myself-"