Pest Control ✔

PC │005

【A L V I N】

I let out a groan of frustration and turned over onto my side for the hundredth time that night. It was somewhere around quarter to three in the morning and I couldn't even fall asleep in my own home. I don't know if it was because of how uncomfortable the couch was, how hot the room was or because of how terrified I was about another roach ending up on my face. Because if there's something you should know about the little insect problem in my house, it's that the living room is much worse than my bedroom will ever be. 

I could already make out tiny little shapes moving around on the carpet and I was praying to God that it was just my mind fucking with me. But, when said little shape suddenly expanded and began to fly around, I knew in that very moment that I was done for. 

The events played out amazingly like the events that had taken place before the first time I had spoken to my neighbour. I threw my blanket off to God only knows where and rushed out of the couch in a state of panic - and because of how dark it was, I ended up falling on my ass. If that wasn't bad enough, I attempted to get up and fell back down once again, hit my side on the edge of the table in the corner of the room and the roach landed on my foot.

I kicked it off as if I were Sonic The Hedgehog and began to run towards the front door with my heart racing a million miles per minute. I was so traumatized by said event that I couldn't even scream or say anything. I just ran once again like a complete idiot - but this time the good news was that I wasn't wearing my Winnie The Pooh boxers. However, the bad news was that I was wearing my Lemongrab undies. But again, I couldn't be arsed to give a single fuck. 

I ran over to my neighbour's house once more, and once again, without even thinking twice, I rang the doorbell like a complete psychopath, already out of breath from just having wrestled a cockroach in my own home.

After a minute or two, the door swung open and there he stood. Surprisingly, he didn't look tired or grumpy at all. He simply crossed his arms across his chest, leaned against his doorframe and raised his eyebrows at me in amusement. Before I could get anything out of my mouth, he looked down at my boxers and let out a whistle, "Lemongrab's about to make me act up."

"Shut up," I grumbled. "This is a crisis."

He let out a soft sigh before shaking his head at me and my heart jumped at how his hair bounced with his movements - this man really was sculpted by the Gods - unlike the little devil in my home. 

"It's 3am, what do you want?"

"There's a roach in my room," I huffed. "Kill it for me?"

"In your room? Again?" he emphasized. "You really need to get your place checked out by some professionals."

"I mean, not exactly my room, the living room," I said, scratching the back of my neck. "Don't know why I felt the need to specify that, it's my room either way. I've tried reaching out to the pest control services, they keep ghosting me."

He rolled his eyes with a small grin on his face before stepping out onto the porch and shutting the door behind him, "Lead the way, Mr. Lemongrab Undies."

I let out an annoyed sigh before turning and beginning to make my way over to my place with him following close behind. When we got to my porch, he pushed the door open and switched on the lights, "Where is it?"

"I don't know, I'm not coming in there," I complained, crossing my arms across my chest like a little child, staying rooted to my porch as he roamed around my living room. Suddenly, he let out a triumphant 'aha!' before beginning to run across the room with his shoe in his hand. I watched the game of cat and mouse in amusement before letting out, "Hey, what's your name by the way?"

"Does this look like the appropriate time to ask me that?" he said, already panting. 

"Sorry, I'll make sure to ask you when you're taking a shit then," I joked, rolling my eyes. 

He ignored my comment and disappeared somewhere behind the couch before beginning to wack the life out of what I assumed was the cockroach. A few minutes after the fatal bloodshed, he stood up and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his arm and let out a proud laugh. 

I was about to ask him to get rid of the body, when the door to my room swung open and out came a very disoriented Antonio. 

"Who are you? What are you guys doing?" he questioned, his voice raspy and his eyes squinted because of the bright light they'd been exposed to. 

My neighbour paused, shoe in hand, and took his moment as his gaze switched between Antonio and I. Finally, he let out a small chuckle and whilst shaking his head, he explained, "Don't worry. We weren't doing anything. He just called me over to get rid of a roach." Following that, he walked over to the table I'd bumped into earlier, grabbed a bunch of tissue papers and wrapped them around the roach's body before beginning to make his way out the front door. 

Before leaving, however, he stopped right beside me and said in a low voice; 

"Lucien."