Pest Control ✔

PC │013

【A L V I N】

Seconds passed - followed by minutes, then after what felt like an hour or so, I finally got the courage to speak up, "Are you guys just going to stay silent forever or what?"

Margot looked over at Lucien after clearing her throat, "Sorry. Maybe you should introduce yourself? And tell us what you're into? Only if you're cool with it."

"Yeah sure, no worries," he began. "My name's Lucien Auclair. My pronouns are he/him. I'm into.. a lot of things actually."

"Is Alvin one of them?" Antonio questioned without thinking twice which earned him a hard smack on the head from yours truly to which he simply hissed before apologizing, "Sorry, my bad. We've got time, you can list out everything you enjoy doing when you're bored."

"Ah, let's see," he began, completely disregarding the former comment Ant had made whilst scratching the back of his neck and looking the other direction as if he were deep in thought. "Right, I used to enjoy playing volleyball back when I was in school, but now I don't really have anyone to play with so I've dropped that. I'm into digital art and figure skating as well."

"I'm into digital art as well!" Delilah gasped before Rowan interrupted, "And we tend to play volleyball at the beach at least twice a month, you should join us the next time we decide to go!"

"That'd be nice, thank you for the offer," he grinned before continuing. "I also have.. a sort of strange hobby?"

"We're all strange as fuck in here, we won't judge," Rowan shrugged. "Tell us, good sir."

"I collect alcohol bottles," he stated simply. "Sometimes I just buy the bottle and pour out the contents or sometimes I'll have to finish the drink because of how expensive it is. I'm running out of shelves as well to stack them in - last time I was decorating, a shelf nearly tipped over and I ended up injuring my hand while trying to prop it back up."

"Is that how you-" I began, glancing over at his hand which now had gauze wrapped around it.

"Yeah," he chuckled, examining his hand. "Whenever the pizza guys come over they always assume I'm an alcoholic or something, it's hard to explain my way out of that."

I'd thought just the same. Holy shit, I felt so bad for having jumped to an assumption that quick without even bothering to confirm what it actually was. 

"I've been trying to get hold of this one bottle that I've always wanted, the Hennessy XO Cognac. I spoke to this guy who was willing to make a deal with me over the phone but he backed out last minute, holy shit I was so mad."

And that's what the phone call was about? Wow, I'm really the biggest clown out there.

"I collect stamps," Delilah grinned. "Marg collects coins, I'd love to check out your collection sometime."

"That'd be nice, you guys can come over whenever you'd like. I'm always up for an hour long session of explaining where I've gotten each bottle from," he chuckled. 

"Will do," Rowan grinned before continuing. "Anyway, I'm Rowan Hayes. My pronouns are they/them. I enjoy fishing and I work as a make-up artist. I'm really into alternative rock and I've been learning how to play the bass recently."

"I'm Margot Fleming. Call me Maggot if you want, I really don't mind. My pronouns are she/her and I play the drums. I work as an online therapist," Margot explained before nudging Delilah with her shoulder. "This is my girlfriend."

"Hi! I'm Delilah Scherwitz," she began with a bubbly grin. "I'm into drawing and I work two jobs, one as a physical therapist and another as the most amazing person you'll ever meet."

"In your dreams, the most amazing person you'll ever meet is sitting right here," Antonio began, flipping his imaginary hair over his shoulder. "I'm Antonio Fibonacci, no I don't know shit about the sequence. I work as a professional pole dancer and a professional aerial dancer, but if anyone asks I tell them I'm unemployed so they'll give me money on my birthday or on Christmas. If you're into me then don't be because Rowan will eat you alive."

I rolled my eyes with a snort, "You already know my name so I'll go straight for the basics. I work as an interior designer and I do part-time as a personal trainer at the local gym as well."

"That's impressive, all of you have your lives set out," he said with a grin. "I work as an author and a graphics designer. How old are all of you?"

"I'm 24," I began. "Antonio is 26, Rowan is 24, Margot and Delilah are 25."

"I'm 25 as well," Lucien admitted before letting out a heavy sigh after what followed was silence. So far, everything was going quite well if you'd ask me. He seemed to be getting along with the group well and everyone seemed to like him too, which was a huge relief. Now, all I had to do was make sure that he wouldn't ask that one forbidden question and everything would be under control.

"Have you guys ever tried pineapple on pizza?"

Everything is no longer under control.

"Don't tell me you like pineapple on pizza," Rowan gasped. "Kick him out, right now."

"Chill babe," Antonio began before lowering his tone. "I kind of like pineapple on pizza as well."

"WHAT?" they shouted. "You told me you didn't!"

"Yeah because I didn't want you to put me up for sale on Craigslist," he confessed. 

"I've never tried it," Margot confessed. 

"Me either, Delilah added. "But I'd be willing to."

"That's great," Lucien grinned. "Ro, have you even tried it?"

"Ro, I like it," Rowan said with a half-smile before continuing. "No, I haven't."

"Then you don't have the right to say anything, we're ordering Hawaiian pizza right now and after you've tried it, then you can judge."

"Alright, who's paying?" Antonio inquired. 

Silence.

Then all of them collectively turned to face me.

"No," I began. "I'm not paying. I never will. Even if you guys bribe me with your entire wallet, I will not be-"

I ended up paying.