Angst One-Shots || BNHA

14; Todoroki Shoto

Another vent😅
Sorry, negativity practically radiates from me. This is more of how I perceive the world.

TW
Mentions of multiple sensitive topics, swearing, mentions of a death

|1st Person|
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I lay on my bed, facing the ceiling. My hands were on my stomach and I had a steady breathing pace. I was calm but I had a headache and plenty of thoughts rushing through my head.

I knew pain. It was like... a shadow. My shadow. It would never leave me. This pain only worsened as I took in and accepted more wrongs of the world.

I've always known that earth was a cruel place. That humanity would most likely be the race to destroy all, including their own. It's just... before death, we cause so much more suffering than is actually necessary.

People are being assaulted right now. People are screaming for help right now. People are dying right now and a lot of those people don't have a hero around to save them.

It's terrible, really. I've found, though, that the earlier you accept that you cannot change any of it, the fewer tears you shall shed over the matter. That is unless your mind simply wasn't built to be thinking about the tragedies of others nonstop.

Yes, I'll admit, sometimes knowing such gruesome facts is... disappointing? No, no, that's not the word... it's more so invalidating and plain negative.

Now, most times I would actually say I'm more of a pessimist, but a realist is less of a stretch.

Life is sad. Humans are evil. Crimes will always be committed and plenty get away with it. When you allow those types of things to register as facts in your brain, it kind of brings down the mood.

Then again, it's a simple truth. Who needs that optimism anyway? Being an optimist is the equivalent of being a daydreamer or a fantasizer.

Constantly thinking about what good could come when that is the least likely possibility— that's just another way to die quicker. I find the idea stupid and a total joke, to be honest.

It's comparable to still believing in Santa Claus. I chuckled a bit.

I don't easily feel pity. I'm starting to feel that perhaps it is because of how I perceive the world, not just me being fucked up in the head. I've learned to... adapt to harsh conditions. Nothing in life is easy.

There is one thing that I refuse to do, though. That thing is taking my own life. I will never do so unless it is for the greater good.

In my eyes, and this is my opinion, those that choose to quit early are those who just weren't built for the journey.

They give up more easily than the average person would, and it's on the world itself. Not a hobby or a passion they're quitting, it is their life. The air they breathe. The senses that have saved them countless times.

They just don't have minds that are strong enough. Some, the smarter ones, seek help and grow to be stronger, but others are not so lucky.

It is merely one of the many sad things I have accepted throughout the years of my early life. Not everyone lasts long. Not everyone has luck. Not everyone is born in a safe place. That's just how humanity runs.

To allow yourself fewer tears and to save yourself the loss, I feel that it'd be easier if tragedy was known from the very start. Then the earth might not have ended out as flooded with despair as it is.

I am glad that I've known this since I was eight years old. Might be depressing for plenty, but at least I'm not sobbing.

She may be gone forever, but weeping wouldn't solve shit. I am sad that I don't care, but it's better than the crying I hear from the other dorm rooms.

I turned to lay on my side, facing the wall.

"It's okay," I tell myself.

"We have too many more people to save and others that are dying right now. Her death was not in vain. I'm just hoping..." I whisper as I shut my eyes.

I'm just hoping that the others may learn from this. They are so unaccepting of the situation... they'd best learn to deal with what the world gives you. Soon. Otherwise, they have a lot more pain to endure.

"Meh."

I relax and begin to fall asleep.

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Word count: 715