Find me

Lost hope

They stopped when he found a large rock they could take shelter from the snowstorm that started up about an hour ago. The horse laid down as steve gathered some wood he'd found around their spot. He piled it up and tried to get one started, it took a while but some sparks finally started the small fire and he could relax.

He sat back and unwrapped his calf from his makeshift cast to clean his wound. He hissed when he pressed some fresh snow against the cuts and pulled out a tooth picking out. "Well crap" he hissed and threw it aside. "You know, you really had my back out there" he tied his leg back up and leaned back.

"I'd probably be their dinner right about now if it weren't for you." He rubbed her side, "I'm going to call you Peggy" she made a noise and he smiled. "Hopefully we're out of this mess soon."

He threw some more wood on the fire before laying down and curling up next to her. He tried to sleep but was scared to do so again, besides he was too cold to fall asleep.

For the next week and a half they'd been trying to get anywhere but for all steve knew they'd been going in circles. He felt weak. He hadn't eaten at all, he was freezing cold, and his head ached all of the time. Worst of all, he was giving up on hope. He felt like tony wouldn't never find him, like he was going to die out there without ever seeing him again. He wanted to let go, and end all of this pain.

He hopped off of Peggy and sat down in the snow. His hurt much less but he couldn't move it much, it definitely healed improperly. He curled up in a ball on his side and despite Peggy digging he snout under him, trying to nudge him up but he just laid there.

Tears ran down his face and his body shuddered painfully. "I'm never going to make it home..." he cried and was ready to let the cold overcome him. He opened his eyes one last time and spotted a building.

He sat back up quickly, the movement made his head spin but when his vision refocused he realized it was definitely a building. It actually looked familiar too, "is that...?" He squinted and stood up, "that's the hydra base!" He screamed excitedly and patted peggys back before hopping on and directing her towards the base.

He was finally hopeful, excited even to just curl up in tonys arms again.

•••

"Tony they can handle it on their own!" Natasha shouted. Some agents were on their way to sokovia to collect more items from the hydra base. "I know you're upset but—"

He scoffed and interrupted her, "damn straight I'm upset, my husband is dead." He pulled a jacket around his shoulders, "he's dead!" He spat and started walking towards the quinjet filled with more agents.

"Are you drunk!?" She yelled after him but he ignored her, "tony you can't just drink away your problems" she grabbed his arm but he swatted her away, "you can't run from them either!" She shouted.

"I can't be here!" He screamed. Clint, Bruce, Thor, and Wanda walked around the corner after they heard the screaming. "I cannot spend another godforsaken minute here without him! Do you understand that!?"

"Tony Just calm down—" Bruce started but tony cut him off.

"Calm down?! Seriously?! I'm not going to fucking calm down! My husband is dead I'm feeling pretty not calm. And walking around here, laying in our bed, and having to deal with all of your pity... is only make this a whole lot harder!" He shouted. They were all quiet. "I'm leaving. You guys can stay as long as you want." He turned away and stormed onto the jet, grabbing a bottle of liquor on his way out of the tower.

As the jet took off Natasha collapsed on the couch, everyone joined her. "Where the hell is he going?" Clint asked.

"He's going to the hydra base in sokovia. Agents were going to finish clearing the place out and well, he's tagging along." Natasha sighed.

"Lets Just give him space. We just buried steves empty casket...." Bruce started, "and we all know tony pretty well, he's going to be pretty pissed for a while." He sighed and slouched back into the couch.

"Well someone's going to need to hide the booze or it's going to scary" Clint added as he stood up to grab a bottle with a bunch of glasses.

"It will take some time for stark to get back to his normal self, this loss... Steve was a good friend to all of us" Thor commented and filled up a glass. He missed his friend a lot. Steve was who he connected best with on the team. He felt out of place being from a whole other planet and so did steve since he was from an entire different century. He was beyond devastated when he found out about steves disappearance and more so when he was pronounced dead. "It will all take us time..." he added and downed his entire glass of scotch.

"Yeah..." Clint mumbled and poured himself and everyone a glass. Everyone picked up their drink. "To steve rogers" everyone raised their glass and downed their drink.

"I'm going to need another one" Natasha hissed against the harshness of the liqueur. "Today is not a good day"

Clint poured everyone another glass, "the past two weeks just haven't been good." He thought of how steve was probably buried under tons of debris underwater or was blown to bits with the city, he couldn't control those thoughts invading his mind so, today, he drank until he was drunk.