i've been through it all
raped
bullied
suicidal
2 miscarriages
voices telling me to jump
heart broken over and over by the same guy
used
beat on
felt
unwanted
locked in a cold basement for a night
ignored
dubbed
rejected
embarrassed
exposed
looked down upon
underestimated
hopeless
trapped
suffocated
drowned
left out
hospitalized
almost everything
yet i came out smiling. ok. improving. achieving the impossible.
so why do i feel so weak? hopeless? tired? sad? like i don't want to exist? why am i hurting so bad? why do i feel so alone? i have no motivation to do anything. the things that once made me happy only make me smile for a moment, then i'm back to being sad. nothing anybody does can fix it. everything is temporary. i just want to break down and cry every time i breathe. things that used to be easy are now boulders up steep hills.
why is everything so difficult?
why do i feel like cutting when i'm at my lowest?
i have dreams i want to achieve. and they feel so close. but i no longer want to take the steps to get there. i'm so tired. tired of pushing. tired of fighting. tired of being strong. tired of crying. tired of the thoughts that run through my head. tired of over thinking. tired of hating myself. tired of feeling like a burden to everyone. i'm so fucking tired i just want it all to end.
but i don't want to die
i hate this
YOU ARE READING
3am Notes
PoetryI always have a lot on my mind and my 2 friends always get tired of hearing me talk about the same shit over and over again. Sometimes i can't sleep because there's just so much shit on my mind so i write them in my notes and give my friends the opt...
