You, Me, and All The Spaces In-between

CHAPTER 13

The next morning, I got a text.

'Hey,' Cash said. 'Good morning.'

Cash. That was right: I'd been texting Cash.

My stomach was twisted into a plethora of knots as I got dressed that morning. I kept contemplating the text, reaching to answer it and then withdrawing. But when it came time to leave, I found myself unable to bring myself to text back.

I was miserably confused on the walk to school; I didn't even know how I felt about the situation. Was I...Happy it was Cash? Angry? Scared?

Perhaps I was all of them.

As I entered the hallways of Grammarville that morning, everything seemed to slow and quieten around me, as though I existed in my own kind of bubble. My head felt fuzzy-Unclear.

Cash. It was Cash Smith.

Oh god, what was I going to do?!

I was lost in my own world for the first half of the day, and when lunchtime finally rolled around, I was so absent-minded I barely noticed when Martin sat beside me for the first time all week.

"Sorry for being absent," he sighed, stretching with a groan. "Lucy's had me helping out with her club's activities, so I've been eating in their classroom."

I didn't respond immediately. I was chewing slowly on a piece of tomato, contemplating my situation, and it wasn't until he snapped his fingers in my face that I said, "Oh...That's okay."

"Are you sure?" Martin asked, frowning. "You look worried."

"Oh, Alyx is always worried," Robert mused, sliding into the seat on my other side. He picked up a jelly cup and began gleefully spooning mouthfuls of the green stuff into his mouth. "Mmm, this is good."

"Why are you always worried?" Martin prodded hesitantly.

"Oh," I interjected quickly, "Robert's just joking. I'm fine, really." The last thing I wanted was to worry Martin. "So, how's Lucy?"

The conversation lapsed into more casual territory then, and for the first time all day, I found myself beginning to relax. I sat back and ate my lunch, content to let the noise of the cafeteria wash over me, glad to simply exist in this moment, with my friends beside me.

After a while, I excused myself and weaved my way through the tables, heading for the bathroom. But as I passed the back of the cafeteria, a roar of laughter rose into the air, and I glanced over a shoulder, spotting Cash, Bryce and the rest of their football friends sitting together in a big group.

Cash was peering over someone's shoulder at their phone, and his eyes were dancing with laughter, golden hair glinting in the sunlight streaming through the cafeteria windows. Today he was wearing a red and white bomber jacket and white sneakers, and he looked as though he could feature in a model shoot at any moment.

My stomach writhed as I watched him, joking with his friends, care-free and unburdened. He knew what it was to lose a grandpa, to love a book, to break up with a girlfriend. There was so much about his boy that I didn't know, a whole world hidden behind that brilliant smile. But looking at him with his friends, I knew it was a world that would never accept me.

I didn't belong in his world, and I was kidding myself if I thought I ever would. I made the decision right then and there not to text Cash anymore. It was time to move on...Before I got hurt.

I'd been staring too long; Cash looked up suddenly, meeting my gaze. I startled, my face reddening as sweat broke over me, and walked quickly to the bathrooms without looking back.

- - - -

I wasn't expecting a second text from Cash. He wasn't the kind to chase people; they simply flocked to him, and he sat back and received them. So when my phone buzzed with a text as I was crawling into bed, I could only gape at the words glowing across my screen.

'Hey,' they read. 'Are you still mad at me for before?'

What was happening right now?

I sat staring uselessly at my phone for almost an hour. Warring with myself. Warring with my common sense, with my sense of self-preservation, with every half-decent braincell I had in my head.

And then finally, I caved.

'Hey. No, I'm not mad haha. Sorry if you felt that way.'

'Oh okay,' came the immediate reply. 'I just wasn't sure. How was your day?'

Cash Smith wanted to know about my day?! Somebody catch me before I swoon.

'It was fine,' I replied, grinning as I typed. 'Pretty boring. Grammarville isn't exactly known for its excitement lol.'

'Ugh, I feel you,' Cash agreed. 'Every day is the same. They all mix together.'

I could hardly believe it. Hadn't I seen him having the time of his life with his mates in the cafeteria earlier today?

'Really?' I couldn't resist typing.

'Sure. It's like ugh, this is boring. When can we move on?'

My pulse quickened with excitement; it was like he was pulling the thoughts straight from my brain.

'Yes! I know exactly what you mean. I can't wait to ditch high school.'

I could feel myself getting carried away, and I firmly promised myself I'd go to bed soon. If I was going to text Cash, it was best to do it in small doses. That way I'd be okay when we stopped talking.

That was the last coherent thought I had for the rest of the night. When I bothered to glance out my window after Cash had logged off, the morning sun was streaming into my room.

A/N: Thanks for reading! :)