You, Me, and All The Spaces In-between

CHAPTER 17

In the remaining few days leading up to Friday's game, I found myself without the energy to do anything outside of my usual school-related activities. I was quiet-Solemn-Unwilling to engage. I could barely muster the willpower to maintain fluid conversations at lunch with Martin and Ky, who, ironically enough, had made it their mission to spend the rest of the week with Robert and I.

Not long ago, that would've thrilled me. But I was tired, and foggy, and found I couldn't quite match the enthusiasm my friends seemed to suddenly possess. I did all my homework as soon as I got home from school, and I even declined an invitation to the movies Thursday night with my friends. Robert informed me on Friday morning that the trip hadn't gone ahead after all.

"Didn't feel right without you," he explained, patting me on the back. We were walking to homeroom together, like usual, and I couldn't help but think of how drastically my life had changed, and then returned to the norm, in the span of only a few weeks.

"Oh," I muttered, picking at a string dangling from my hoodie. "You guys should've gone. I wouldn't have minded."

"Yeah...well." Robert shrugged. "I doubt Martin and Ky would've agreed if I'd insisted the three of us go."

I should ask what he meant by that. It sounded important. But before I could open my mouth, before I could even begin to summon the words, Robert said, "I almost forgot; can you be on standby tonight so that we can text? I'm gonna be so bored at tonight's game."

I'd forgotten Robert was going to that. "Oh. Yeah, sure."

He peered hesitantly into my face as we paused outside of the classroom door. "You could...you could come with me?" he suggested slowly.

I was already gripping the door handle. "Nah. Not really my thing." There was no way in hell I was attending that game.

"Oh, right," Robert said suddenly, following me into the classroom. Clarity lit his gaze. "Of course. Why would you want to watch Cash and Bryce play, especially when they're so mean to you in English. Sorry man, I didn't think."

I ground my teeth together so tightly they hurt. When we were in our usual seats at the back of the room, I realised I'd been clenching my fists inside my pockets.

"'Morning, everyone." Ms. Dale, our homeroom teacher, walked over to her desk and settled several heavy binders atop it. "Hope we've all had a good morning. Let's take attendance now."

As she began to read names off her laptop, I leaned across the aisle between our desks and hissed at Robert in a low, furious voice, "I've changed my mind. I am going to that game."

- - - -

That evening, I stood in front of my mirror and examined my appearance in the dark space of my room. Streetlights were shining through the window, cutting bright fluorescent shapes through the shadows and gifting my reflection a strange, eerie glint.

I was wearing a red sweatshirt, and a pair of worn jeans, and I'd tried to tame my hair into something vaguely stylish. I stared at myself for longer than I'd like to admit, and even when Elena called me from downstairs, I couldn't immediately tear myself away. I told myself I wasn't trying to look good for Cash, that it was for me...that by going to this game, I was taking back some aspect of myself.

That it wasn't about him.

That it couldn't be about him anymore.

"You look nice," Elena commented as I climbed into her car. Most of my classmates were driving by now, but I hadn't quite gotten over the initial anxiety of sitting behind the wheel. "Will Robert be there tonight?"

"Thanks. And yeah." I rested my forehead against the frosted window, relishing its coolness. "Don't worry, I'll stick by him all night."

"Just take care of yourself." My sister pressed a twenty dollar note into my hand when we came to a stop light. "Buy yourself something nice. And no sneaking off with strange boys to make-out behind the bleaches."

Oh, the irony of my life.

"Don't worry," I said dryly, "that won't be a problem."

As I approached the bleaches, my skin itched and prickled, and sweat gathered on the back of my neck. So many people were here, all packed tightly together, some bearing signs and waving flags, some laden with food and drinks.

For a moment I considered turning back and bailing on the entire night.

But then I caught a figure from the corner of my eye, and I spotted Robert waving at me from the back of the crowd. Exhaling loudly, I hurriedly climbed the rest of the stairs and settled eagerly into the seat Robert had saved me

"Dude, it's so packed here," I sighed, pulling anxiously on the hem of my shirt. "I can't believe how many people showed up for this."

"Hell yeah," Robert drawled, raising his brows. "Football is, like, the thing right now."

"Wow." I scanned the field before us, watching as the cheerleaders launched into a routine. "You're so in the loop."

"Hold up." Robert pulled his phone out and held it up to my face. "We're gonna send a selfie to my Dad."

"Won't he wonder why you're not in a jersey?" I asked, smiling at the screen.

"I'll make something up." Robert shrugged. "All that matters is that he knows we were, at some point, within physical proximity of a football game."

I craned my neck to peer across the field again, straining for a glimpse of the team. "That we are."

"Okay, stop." Robert placed a placating hand on my arm, looking worried. "Don't look for them, okay? Don't let them have that power. You're here for you. Fuck them."

I felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude for Robert in that moment. Even if he didn't know all the details, even if he had no idea what had really gone on between me and Cash, he was for me now. And I appreciated that.

"You're right," I said after a moment. My chest felt lighter. My head clearer. "Fuck them."

The crowd erupted into cheers, and I glanced up just in time to watch Cash jog onto the field. The cheerleaders had left, and Coach Westley was standing eagerly by the fence. The change in the atmosphere was almost palpable; the game was about to start.

A/N: Thanks for reading! If you're enjoying so far, please leave a vote and/or a comment :)